Does my friend have a secret lesbian crush on me?

[love_life1987]

I have been friends with her for about three years. She's always gotten attached to people super easily and been overprotective but Nothing too bad. She's always been fine when I am just hooking up with a guy, but always seems to get super jealous or mad when I get a boyfriend Because she feels like she can't spend as much time with me. Every other friend I have has never done that. She always tells me I look good or hot and compliments me, tells me she loves me and is always having my back. She has never had a boyfriend before and has never kissed a guy or dated a guy or anything. She says she has crushes on guys but never does anything about it. She always talks about wanting to make out with guys or have sex with them. I tell her t give it a try but she always makes an excuse. She's a huge supporter of lgbt and is always posting stuff on fb about it. She is kinda tomboy and is incredibly ungirly. She cusses a lot and burps and farts and rarely ever wears makeup or dresses or any of that. My boyfriend thinks she's a closet lesbian. She did tell me she finds girls attractive and found one of her Co workers attractive in the past who is a girl.

I just find it weird how jealous she gets of my boyfriend and how she gets jealous when I can't hang out with her but other people do. She left me a fb message saying she's gotta learn to acceptthat we are just friends and that I have a boyfriend now and we can't hang out as much. What do you all think? Should I ask her? Its weird and creeps me out and I've only dealt w this with other ex boyfriends I had.

Updates

+1 y

Well I asked her why she was so jealous and threatened and of there is something she wasn't telling me. She said that she hoped we broke up so that she and I could spend more time together. I then said there's obviously some reason. And then She said "do you think that I like you?" Because I most certainly don't. " She admitted she is super attached to me and doesn't feel like I need her anymore. So that makes me feel like she does. She said she doesn't know how to get over being jealous of me.

Updates

+1 y

She also said she doesn't want to be my maid of honor anymore which is coming out of nowhere because before she seemed so excited to do it someday. I asked her to stop being jealous but she said I can't because now you have your boyfriend and he's your soulmate.

[AudiR8]

*Maybe your friend feels a deep emotional attachment toward you! so it makes her feel unwanted in a way, when you're with someone else, therefore causing jealousy, and friends can feel jealous too not just someone who is interested in you romantically... However, maybe she is lesbian for other reason you mentioned... (tomboy, wears no makeup.. etc.. ) So, if you want to ask her, do it... The worst thing that could happen is for her to feel offended, but it's reasonable for you to think it.* Some people can confuse attachment with love and start to think they're gay or lesbian but it's not always the case.

Similar thing happened to me... I had a friend like that, and she would say she's not lesbian, but she would admit girls are hot, but then again.. so would i, and I'm not lesbian so I didn't think she was... then she wrote in my yearbook, that she always liked my boobs and if I ever wanted a threesome to call her o_o (she was my best-friend) So that was awkward (but she said she's not les)... then she started to feel comfortable undressing in front of me while getting dressed to go out, but I would ignore it.. and then she would ask me if her boobs were nice while she was naked, and my sister walked in on one of those days and I was like "look! she wants to know if her t*ts are nice!" and my sister was like "wtf?" lol So anyway, I also noticed she would purposely touch mine also (unintentionally) and then she would ask me why I didn't do or say anything when she would do it, and she claimed that I liked it! because I wouldn't tell her anything... but it seemed unintentional to me, so I wasn't like "ewk", or "omg she touched my boob", it was like whatever to me... The weird thing is she's the one that would think I'm lesbian, and she would ask me if I was... yet her actions were questionable... She was jealous of any other friends I had, and she once told my cousins that she was my girlfriend, and I didn't even know she did this... eventually she became a slut, she's still my friend but she sleeps around with so many guys, even married ones... So I don't really know, though I can sense she's been with girls before, but she never admits to it... there are people like that..I think she was just very attached to me...

[love_life1987]

Ya I guess your right. She does say she's closer to me so maybe she's just incredibly attached. I just find it ridiculous. But I guess I should ask her for sure in person sometime. I know I will make her mad but I need to know the truth.

[AudiR8]

Yea, I don't think it's wrong to ask her... it might be uncomfortable though for both of you..

and also my friend also gave me very expensive gifts even when I had just met her..

Anyway! I hope it doesn't ruin your friendship with her, whether she is or not. :]!

[love_life1987]

Thank you for the advice! Ya lately she's always buying me things like food or gifts or something. Maybe she's just being nice but she does it as much as my boyfriend does.

[roovy51579]

I am not sure how long ago you wrote this question, as there is no date,but I am a girl similar to her type and I can most certainly confirm that most likely, she does love you romantically. She may not sexually fantasize about you, or she may. I did not always sexually fantasize when I fell in love with a friend. It may be a few things... either a)she is sexually confused and hasn't found out what she really likes because of her lack of experience...which, in that case she is telling the truth. b)she knows what she likes because many times in a row she has fallen for women, however, she is too terrified to accept it, in fear of losing you. c)she really isn't in love with you, but lacks deep intimacy in the rest of her life, so, she desires to have all of your time to meet her lack of intimacy. Sometimes, when people aren't nurtured properly in their upbringing, they spend their whole lives feeling empty, looking for other friends etc to give them that which they missed growing up. Those cravings to be loved or accepted can be overwhelming at times, wishing to receive that kind of love from someone, anyone. And when that deep of love isn't satisfied by the desired individual, jealousy and possessiveness sets in. She may not want to be your maid of honor, only because her heart is breaking and it would be too hard to smile maybe. All of this is just an intuitive guess. Rest assured, if she gets counseling (as I have), you can still be friends...and even better ones...healthier ones. But if she doesn't, she doesn't have the skills or knowledge to deal with her unmet needs.

I hope this helps!

[dancenerd]

Just because she's protective doesn't mean she likes you. I know every girl is different ut if your friend had a crush on you she'd flirt with you unintentionally. It's a subconscious thing, she may catch it, but it would happen. She may just be super clingy and that's why she's jealous, believe me if she had a crush on you, you'd know it. I am really good at hiding my feelings from people and even my best friend figure out when I started crushing on her, my boyfriend even noticed for crying out loud.

[love_life1987]

Guess your right. Thing is she doesn't get this way w anyone else or any of her other friends. Just me. Maybe she's just lonely. All her friends did move away she was close to and she just got back from college in a different state and is missing everyone. She does make statements about most girls being hot but same w guys. She finds pretty much Everyone attractive.

[dancenerd]

She may have become really attached to you and have abandonment issues

[RasmusAiken]

I do think she has a lesbian crush on you that she is afraid to confess. Otherwise why would it matter that you have a boyfriend. I'm assuming you'd still make time for her.

[love_life1987]

Should I just ask her? Ya I still make time for her. We hung out like a few weeks ago. I haven't been able to hang Or much because I just had surgery. She gave me flowers and my favorite food Go my get well present. More then my boyfriend did and he said she needs to get her her lesbian crush on me. Lol

[RasmusAiken]

I wouldn't ask her if she's a lesbian. That might be hard for her to admit straight up. I'd ask her something like, "If you were approached, what would you think of a girl/girl relationship for yourself?"

[love_life1987]

That's a good idea. Thanks for the advice!

[Anonymous]

Burping and farting is not ungirly. Being gassy is pretty much the girliest thing you can do. I’m a girly girl and straight as an arrow, but I can outfart and out burp any guy. Straight and bisexual girls fart and burp more than anyone else because we have the most gas. The order of gassiness is straight women > bi women > lesbian/queer women > men. All women fart and belch more than all men.

[Anonymous]

From what it looks like, yes.

[Anonymous]

It seems like it