Search Results: picking up signals

We dated for almost 4 months in the summer. We broke up, he has a new girlfriend a few weeks later. Continued to IM me on AIM. I couldn't take it anymore and blocked him on AIM, MySpace. It's been 2 months for them as a couple.

Just recently at work (yes we're coworkers), in the last few weeks, we talk and joke around like we used to back in the day. We were friends for several months before the tension and closeness just got the best of us and we dated.

I'm not sure but I wonder lately. I catch him staring at me, and sometimes he holds it for longer than expected. He stands very close to me at times when he couldn't do that after the break up.

He comes up to talk about anything at all, even the most randoms things. He flings rubber bands at me, shows me funny texts from his cell, brings back old inside jokes/stories from back in the day. Basically, it's exactly like old times before & during our relationship.

Many of our coworkers aren't too fond of his girl and think he has changed a bit. Some predict it won't last. I've almost completely moved on. My vibes are picking up little signals but I don't know anymore!

What is your impression? Do you think we are treading a dangerous path by being friends again at work? I still have him blocked on the net and I never text or call him (neither does he). Might he still harbor a little affection for me? Is he just being friendly?

I have been trying to champion acceptance and tolerance for gender differences, but there is one thing I have to side with the fellas on is the whole "Guess what I want in my loaded question or attitude" thing.

Now the “Do I look fat” question I get—we all want appreciation and validation from our love partners.

What I am talking about is a whole different animal.

Seriously many ladies is they seldom say what they mean in relationships. I even dated a couple of girls (very, very briefly) that were always playing mind games. It was like "Guess what I want or I will be mad."

Far too often I got the "silent treatment" and it was enough to have me trot out the "lets be friends speech." Of course, if they asked why I broke it off, I told them, which often ended up with us not being friends...*shrugs*

I never had this issue--in fact--I found my honesty often scared dudes off. If I liked you, I called the next day. I figured, hey, I am not talking about picking out wedding rings, just showing I enjoyed and liked spending time with you--I mean, isn't that what you want to know after a date?

For every guy who was skittish about my response, assuming it meant I was desperate, there were those who liked the fact I was up front and didn’t play games.

Now, for sure, honesty can get yah in trouble, especially when it comes to someone who is as opinionated as I am, and yes, there are a few men who say they want some mystery. Perhaps it is this mixed signal of "Be honest but don't tell me too much" that makes women want to play coy? Heck, I dunno.

But I just can’t stand the whole “Guess what I am thinking/feeling/saying” routine.

Every time I see a chick flick where a girl goes off a on a guy because he didn't get her 101 clues about something she wanted, I want to scream (which is why I rarely watch chick flicks.)

I even knew one woman who told me that if her and her man is supposed to be soul mates, of one mind and one accord, then he should know what she wants.

I was like, "Uhm--what?"

Yet another said that it could be because women feel men won’t understand her needs if she tries to explain what she wants outright. I find men do understand where I am coming from—I simply introduce concepts in a language they understand. All men are different mind you, but like with the hubby, he is a computer techie type, so I try to get a bit technical and less flowery and emotional in my wording—it works. Men care—you just have to see what works best for communicating—it is an individual thing and will take work. With practice it falls into place.



I know there is a subtle psychology to this but I do not comprehend it -- I don’t think it is simply because women want to play games--maybe they are getting some kind of signal from the dating game that makes this seem necessary.

Guys/girls--I want a few ideas tossed out here--this has always been a thing that has had me nonplussed about my fellow gender...

One love.