Search Results: seeing a therapist

So I turned 18 fairly resonantly and never had a real relationship even though I really wanted one for SO SO LONG. I’m shy and introverted though and only have a few close friends and that’s because of social anxiety due to severe bullying back when I was younger and never fitting in with others at school. Anyway at this point I’d give absolutely anything just to have a pretty girl to wrap her in my arms, snuggle with, talk to about my day, kiss her, have an intercourse with her (if she’s comfortable with it of course) etc. People say I have so much love and empathy in my heart waiting to be passed on to others but at the present moment only people I can think of giving it to are pretty girls as they are my #1 Priority and I’d do anything I can to make a girl feel loved but if I find her and the intensity is released on only focusing on girls then yes I’ll give it to other people too. The thought of so many other people YOUNGER than me being able to go a lot farther in terms of being sexually active and stuff makes me so depressed, feel so low and want to self harm. Sometimes I think of giving myself a 3rd degree burn (please don’t judge) because I feel an urge too. Haven’t gone that far yet and yes I know I’ll need skin graphs if I do it. (Not only dating I also have a couple bad phobias too and yes I have been seeing a therapist).

Anyway bottom line is that I wanted to ask if it was normal for someone my age in my position (never having a girlfriend once and really wanting one) to be so girl crazy where all he ever thinks of is wrapping a girl in his arms, will do absolutely anything for one and gets so depressed thinking of others having it especially those who don’t deserve it. Ex. Those who just want sex.

My exgirlfriend dumped me for my insecurities. I was always messaging her wanting a play by play of what she was doing. I always wanted to see her everyday. Always wanted her to sleep over. If we didn't see eachother, I got upset. If she didn't sleep over, I got upset. If she took more than an hour to reply, I got upset and would message again (double message). I would even puppy follow her when we were together always behind her. Always touching her (hand holding, hand on leg, etc). Finally, it became too much and she dumped me. We tried working things out a few times since, but my insecurities would come back and she would push away and end up blocking me. Now, I am blocked except on text. She is overseas in Denmark on vacation and with the time difference we really only talk once a day (if even). Her messages are short and kind of distant (even cold). I am working on rebuilding respect before I move on to attraction (flirting). I am meeting with a therapist today to discuss my issues; do I tell my ex? Would that better the situation or worsen?

I'm 25, never had a relationship, and I'm losing hope. It seems like every woman I've tried getting close to (not even just romantically, but also as friends) just throws up wall after wall after wall and drags me through the mud. This has happened now 9 times. Women have kicked the dignity out of me, and been straight up abusive to me, any time I open up and try to be vulnerable. Even my female therapist (who I was seeing to work on my trust issues) ghosted me.

Is this shit normal? Is dating really this horrible for everyone?