I'm just gonna be honest and put it out on the line. I have autism. To be more specific, high-functioning autism. I have social issues, so much so that I am introverted. But I don't think it's entirely my fault that I have all these problems, I think my parents had a big role to play in that, and I am certain that many parents have done the same thing to their kids.
Abuse Caused By Parents During Childhood
I have been emotionally and mentally abused by my parents while I was growing up. There were one too many times where my parents had accused me of doing something I didn't even do (such as throwing stuff willy-nilly in the entertainment center, opening windows, etc.) There were times where my mother had threatened to shoot me, lock me in a closet for life, or physically punish me. That made me feel hurt and worthless. As far as many other kids go, I'm sure that they had parents who treated them the same way, but don't like to talk about it because they know that somehow their parents are going to find out, and are going to try and convince their friends or the person with autism that they never abused them, but the child knows better, but is afraid to say something because there is a very good chance that their caregivers are going to punish them emotionally or mentally or just ground them for speaking their mind.
Mental Abuse
There are some parents who mentally abuse their kids (such as them seeing one thing and the parent or caregiver trying to tell them that what they saw didn't happen because said caregiver thinks otherwise and would rather put his/her own feelings or thoughts of what happened ahead of the child's, not even willing to listen to their side. Some parents even go as far as making the child keep secrets about what goes on behind closed doors, and if they open up their mouths to anyone they know, it will come back to them, and they will ground you or punish you emotionally, mentally, verbally, or possibly physically. The majority of the reason why the caregivers treat those children that way is because they want everyone to be on their side instead of the child's.
If the child tries to tell his side to anybody, the mother, father, or caregiver is going to get incredibly defensive and try and convince people that what the child is saying didn't happen.
Sometimes they will confuse the children by saying "You feel free to speak your mind!", even though most of those children know they can only speak their mind to a certain extent. If they speak their mind about what is happening behind closed doors, the caregiver's opinion on another person, or something like a fight, then there is a good chance they will be facing punishment ranging from something as simple as a grounding to physical punishment.
Being Forbidden to Be Like Everyone Else
Say you're an adolescent with autism, and you wanna do things that the other kids do to try and fit in. Those things may include jumping a couple feet from a high ledge to a pool, jumping off a couple of steps on a stairwell, or even cursing. The majority of adolescents with autism are forbidden to do so, and the reasons why are either: They want the child to progress on their terms, they think said adolescent cannot do those things because it is unsafe (which is basically helicopter parenting or being completely coddled), and/or they treat the adolescents like babies because that is what many bigoted communities want out of these kids. As far as the adolescent cursing, the parent will feel like if they say that stuff around people those caregivers know or in public, sometimes they will not be afraid to tell you that it reflects badly on them, like they haven't raised you with any respect. I would understand if it was in public, but around people you know, they already know who I am, so why the fuck should those retards be allowed to say ANYTHING?
The Autism Community
The social workers, the advocates, and the supporters of autism either can't or refuse to understand that some autistic kids may just wanna be like everyone else, but the majority of the time, they teach them "proper" social skills, such as "Hi", and "What do you like to do for fun?", and "What games do you like to play?" (the latter two of which what you would teach a five- or seven-year-old, but these therapist quacks are teaching 16-year-olds with autism to say that because they think they are severely subpar in social skills or they are just trying to treat them like children, and the majority of the kids who say they have good social skills will often dismiss them because they think they are so stupid that they don't even know themselves. Other workers who may work with the same person with autism may not tell the other therapist that because of the lack of communication bullshit that goes on in these businesses.
I Know Myself Better than Anyone Else Knows Me
The majority of adolescents with autism are aware that they have autism, and likely aware that they know themselves really well. However, the caregivers and therapists will often tell them they don't know anything about themselves, and this results in the adolescent feeling hurt and seldom, and the majority of them cannot prove that fact to them because they either don't know how to or are being forbidden to think critically enough to prove those people wrong. Some with autism even read up and do research on things that parents don't know (such as the environment of a high school, how much culture has changed, and the little other things that are required in college). However, whenever the autist tells the parent/caregiver about those things, the parents will often, or almost always, dismiss their theories because to them, they don't know anything because they have not been out in the real world to know that fact. That, OR the ever-famous "not everything you read on the internet is true." Unless they hear it from another professional, that theory means nothing to them. Back to the adolescents knowing themselves, that can range from what they saw and what the caregivers think to how the child or adolescent feels about himself, or the things that they are capable of handling vs. what the caregivers think they are able to handle. That can range from what type of sounds they can handle, the type of crowds they can be around, even social media. Often times, the adolescent will not try and argue with the caregiver's theory, because, like I said, they will face punishment.
The Point of this MyTake
Some kids and adolescents with autism may not have proper social skills because they have been coddled and overprotected from the real world their whole lives. They may have been homeschooled, and possibly forbidden to socialize with kids because they are trying to protect them from reality or because the caregivers are in a hurry and they want to get out of there as soon as possible, thus resulting in the child having limited social skills. Some may have been mentally abused so bad (i.e. not being allowed to think critically, or having fun as long as it was on the caregiver's terms) that they are unable to cope with their emotions or know how to function in life. Some kids even have low grades in school (usually C's or D's.) And the caregivers will often put tremendous pressure on them to get caught up so bad that often times they shut down. Some parents will tell them, "You're smarter than this!"; "You're capable of getting As and Bs! The problem is you're not putting any effort into it!"; "You're letting your mind wander!"; "You're being lazy!", while that is usually not the problem at all. The problem may result in having an unstructured and dysfunctional environment at home (same goes if they were homeschooled), therefore, as he grows up, he suffers depression and anxiety issues when it comes to school, social cues, and many other things.
Final Note
I'm gonna close this MyTake with a couple points.
1) I'm not saying that ALL children with autism have difficulties because of their parents or caregivers. There are few who are unable to move forward because they are unable to do so, and even that is caused by having low-functioning autism or mild autism, even some with high-functioning;
2) For some reason, parents are incredibly frustrated when it comes to having kids with autism. All the psychiatrist appointments, all the people coming in to your house, all the necessities that a child with autism needs. Sometimes, not all the needs are met because of issues ranging from selfishness to financial struggle.
3) I didn't get everything I wanted, and that was a good thing. I was a small kid and all I wanted was an iPhone, but I NEVER got one. I didn't get every single thing I asked for, and that helped me expect that I don't get everything I want. I guess what I'm saying is, some children with autism are able to learn that they're not gonna get everything they want. That instills a sense of respect on the adolescent, which is more of what we need.
4) Finally, FINALLY, there are a few adolescents with autism who have been abused by their caregivers that are able to develop a sense of character during their adulthood, and some of them even go to therapy to help cope with their emotions so they can function the best way they can in life.
That's all I have to say.
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