My boyfriend never takes me out, how can I make him understand I want that?

[girlpower452]

He never initiates to take me out. When I make the plan and suggest it, we go. But he never does that. He never tells me something like "let's go there, I think you'll like it" or suggest something that makes me feel like he thinks about me. Couple of times I told him that but he still doesn't do that. But I do expect him to do. Am I wrong to wait such gestures?

[Purpleronnie]

I fine it challenging to see the “big” picture here. Ultra-focus on any small thing in a relationship that’s less than perfect never ends well.
With so little background or understanding of relationship dynamics it’s hard to give specific advice so I will give you my general perspective and opinion as a man.


We are simple creatures so subtlety is generally lost on us. What does he like doing? , do that with him , he will understand that gesture and likely want to return the gesture and when he does …REWARD HIM ! .. that’s called positive reinforcement. Don’t bitch , moan , sulk and make demands of him to do stuff with you , that never works. Show appreciation and enthusiasm over the small things he does for you and communicate it !! Guys love feeling needed and wanted.
Doing these things I think your bound to see a change in him

[coachTanthony]

Women unfortunately mold their husbands without even knowing it. They tend to hope and pray for things instead of directly telling the man their interests and needs.

[Anonymous]

Tell him what you want and let him know it's making you reconsider the relationship because of his lack of participation. But from what you're saying, he honestly seems like kind of a deadbeat, no offense. Guys like to show off for a girl they want to impress. It's heartwarming to see, actually. But yikes! It just feels to me like the whole wooing/ winning process is missing from your relationship, and maybe you want this to work too much. I'd break up with him pretty quickly because if he isn't putting effort in now, he never will. I know that's hard to hear, but that just seems like he isn't wanting to put anything into the relationship. I'm not saying I'm entitled to being waited on like a princess, but if I am working hard on my end and the guy is coasting, it's an imbalance and not going to work long-term. Just my two cents...

[rosemilk]

well you should definitely say something as soon as possible! communicate.

you tell him what you said here. "hey, i noticed lately that you never initiate taking me out for a nice date. when i make the plan/suggestion, we go. but i noticed that you never do that. why is that?" "i'd like you to take more initiative and take me on more dates, suggest more places we can go together. it makes me feel loved when you do things that show me you're thinking about me." "i have told you this before and i feel like you never put in the effort and it's really been upsetting me"

if he cannot do this, you two are just not compatible.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic case of wanting a little more romance in the air! Trust me, you're not wrong for wanting those sweet gestures. It sounds like you’re craving a bit of initiative from your partner, and hey, who wouldn't? Remember, communication is key in any relationship, and sometimes being upfront about your desires is the way to go. Try sharing with him how much it would mean to you if he planned a date or surprised you with an outing. Use examples of past dates you planned and express how happy it made you feel and that you’d love to experience that joy from his end too. Keep it light and positive, maybe even a bit flirty to spark that excitement in him. Relationships are a two-way street, so let’s get him driving in the right direction! 😉

[OlderAndWiser]

You started giving him free milk very early in the relationship, didn’t you?

[DishLady]

Just tell him you would like to go out... give him a chance to set something up... then go out.

[blunty]

Communicating your desires and expectations in a relationship is important. Here are a few steps you can take to express your wish to go out more often:

Choose a Good Time to Talk: Find a quiet moment when both of you are relaxed and not distracted by other things

Express Your Feelings: Instead of focusing on what he isn’t doing, share how it makes you feel and why going out together is important to you. You could say something like, “I really enjoy spending time with you and feel really happy when we go out together.”

Be Specific: Let him know what kind of outings you enjoy or want to try. Whether it’s dinner, movies, or a walk in the park, explaining what you like might inspire him to plan something.

Listen to His Perspective: Give him a chance to share his thoughts. Maybe he has reasons for staying in that you aren’t aware of.

Suggest Planning Together: Propose that you both could come up with ideas and plan your outings together.

Be Patient and Reassuring: Changes might not happen overnight.

In the end, communication is key!

[Faith18letsgo]

I think you did the right thing by communicating with him that this is important to you. But I think people rarely change. So it might be better to just find going out buddy.

[laly520]

ig he's just not the type to initiate it n probably the type to avoid taking u out n spending money, investing time n effort into it

could be its just how he is n waiting or pushing him to change won't do any good

[docster]

Some people are home bodies, and some aren't. If you want to stay with him you might have to go out with friends instead. Men usually don't want to change.

[SotiCoto]

Ugh... EVERYTHING has to be communicated CLEARLY IN WORDS.
Do not leave any room for ambiguity. Tell him. Tell him ALL of it. Every little detail.
There is no other route to what you want.

[DrPepper12]

I don't think you're going to change him in that regard. It's probably baked in at this point. Why don't you set aside once or twice a month date night but you have to alternate who's responsible?

[FuqUFggt]

Dress better, act better, be a better date. I stopped taking my wife out 10 years ago when she wore sweat pants and the waitress thought I was single because she was sitting at the next table looking at her phone the whole time.

[DextroShade]

Men aren't interested in going out to restaurants, we only do that for you.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/0QquLCwf0jA

[LuminousMind]

@DextroShade hi I just wanted to say I really like your advice and I wanted to ask if you wouldn’t mind giving me your opinion on a situation?

[DextroShade]

@LuminousMind you can message me if you want

[LuminousMind]

@DextroShade can you follow me so I can send you a pm?

[HawkPerception]

I usually agree man. But I like going out to restaurants myself 😂 Unless you or your partner's a damn good cook, food usually tastes better when you're out, the environment change from home to out is nice and it's nice to get good service.

[WhitneySnow]

Tell him what you just said

Girl power! lol

[slatyb]

Eventually you are wrong to expect it from him. Are you willing to stay if this never changes?

[handsomelad70]

Suggest a cozy, couply spot that you and he would find agreeable, and he (hopefully) will get your message.

[VV3ZZY123]

Not wrong. He is complacent and stupid to think your just going to stick around. Maybe he will learn one day.

[TonyMetal___86]

Like what if he doesn't likes to go out, more like an indoor person!

[Jamie05rhs]

You're giving him too much free pussy. Stop incentivizing laziness.

[jahaims]

Communicate your needs better and you can take him out too

[BarryLiverstone]

Schedule a date night once a month and alternate who makes the plans

[MrDaveAPSI]

Yeah my dad doesn't either. They've been married 35+

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you. So what aren't you understanding?

[Anonymous]

I assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out and hit on you and made a move on you

[Anonymous]

Go out without him. Say join me if you want to. He will be there.

[sheikalana]

Did he tell you why he doesn't do it?

[Unit1]

Send him this question

[sirderpsalot123]

By telling him

[Iron_Man]

You have to talk to him

[dustybiker2]

Tell him?