Do you know anyone who is kind without expecting anything in return?

Question

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

I respect people who are that way, but at the same time I am skeptical of them.

Humans are designed to look out for their own interests. This is not a bad thing, it's a survival trait and perfectly normal. When people deviate from normal behavior I always suspect an underlying motivation. In the case of people who are kind and appear to expect nothing in return, I think there are a few possible explanations although I don't have time to delve deeply into them so I will just mention the one I think most likely.

Note that this analysis is not intended to be critical of the OP (who from reading this page I see identifies herself as a person who is kind without expecting anything in return) because I am familiar with her posts and respect her views.

One possible explanation for this deviation from natural behavior is that people who engage in it feel guilty about something, or just generally feel guilty whether it is a misplaced sense of guilt or justified and showing others how "selfless" they are is their way of subliminally saying "see, I am not the bad person I myself think I am." It's a kind of virtue signaling to others to atone for their own real or perceived sins.

This reconciles it with the natural behavior of looking out for one's own interests because by performing the act of "selflessness" they are giving themselves gratification by relieving themselves of the feelings of guilt. So I usually do not see this behavior as "nothing in return," in fact I see it as probably entirely for the purpose of receiving the emotional self-gratification in return.

This does not make people who engage in this behavior bad people. It makes them normal people in a sort of abnormal way. :)

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

You mean, besides me? SoundandWaves, my neighbor, Ron, I suppose, you, Ron's wife, and, I'm sure I could come up with more if I sat and thought about it.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

I know a few people like that. It’s not exactly kindness if you expect something in return for it now is it? It’s a great quality to have so long as you do have boundaries. Don’t give if you’re unable to and don’t let other people use you either. It’s okay to say no too

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

My family members. Always willing to help and not expecting anything in return.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I'm always kind and polite... until someone crosses my boundaries

exitseven · Answer

My wife is a physical therapist and does home visits. A lot of her patients are elderly and are often not very wealthy. She often helps her patients beyond what her duties specify. Many times she has got me tom do some heavy lifting for some of these patients of fix something at their homes that is broken and they cannot afford to have it repaired,.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

A few I've met, I think.
I would like to see myself that way, but then I realize I don't want to be used or treated like a function eventhough I like to provide functionality, I still want gratitude or respect in some form.
But I generally don't have an agenda, which confuses people at times. Especially girls who either wants or fears me having intention.

But I still meet plenty of high people like that, just giving and being affectionate. Not as common amongst sobrierty but it's out there.

Unit1 · Answer

Can't say I do. Mostly because I developed myself to be as self-reliant as possible.

There have been a few instances, in which favors were granted to me just because but it turned out they expected something in return from me sometime later and weaponized their "act of kindness". You could say it scarred me. Someone's actually going through pain trying to aid me while I "play" "cat and mouse" with them unintentionally but for my own safety beyond risking feeling like I should owe them. It's more complicated than just that.

SotiCoto · Answer

No, because they don't exist, and it is myopically self-centred to even seek such a thing.

The closest you can find in reality is people who will give things away for free because those things don't represent a personal cost to them... or because it advances their personal goals to give them away.

As long as you don't get into interpersonal interactions believing that "selfish = bad" and "selfless = good" but instead realise that everyone has their own goals and motivations and everything works out for the best if we cooperate and reciprocate towards mutual gain... then things should work out.

Dongie · Answer

Yep. A couple. I have a sister like that, call her sister Christian. This guy from my teen years, my best friend has the reputation as being the nicest guy on earth but he's tight with money. Smart.
Then there is me. I give until I have nothing left. Over 34,000 dollars I've spent on people since May 2019. Lost my job to a vindictive nephew and used the rest of my sa wings and had to take my new truck back with only 6k on it. List 10,500 on equity. And that makes me the biggest SUCKER in the known universe. As if that's not enough I could go on well over 10's of k more since 2002.😭🥶

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

My grandfather. I remember him always fetching me from school when I was little even he could barely walk.. Sadly, he's not here anymore.

Nessie6 · Answer

I actually do, which is so refreshing. I am one of them aswell <3

Meropatrick · Answer

Yes there are many people who r like that.  But there is nothing like they dont get anything in return  some get fullfillment in doing good

Surely · Answer

I don’t expect anything in return immediately. But I would expect if I were to need something that the person I helped were able to help me. That they would come through for me!

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

I think as humans that's almost impossible. Don't we all think of reward whether here or reincarnation or those who believed in God's lol or others 😎✌🏻😋😈👌🏻👀

Purpleronnie · Answer

Well that’s describes me. Kind is my default but rub me the wrong way or dis-respect me and I will show my teeth

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yes. I try to be and I know others who are too.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Yeah i do but it is rare in modern selfish millennial/Gen Z society im afraid.

Anonymous · Answer

Immigrants. ONLY immigrants. And me to them as well.

Anonymous · Answer

me, my dad, my uncle, my once removed aunt

Likes2drive · Answer

Yeah usually me

Xia1994 · Answer

Yes I do know people like that ❤️

whistlingwh0res · Answer

my family helped people. no expectation

ProbablyClueless · Answer

That's how I am

Anonymous · Answer

NOOOOOOOO ‼️‼️‼️

LiamJHayden · Answer

A few. It is unfortunately rare.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

Me..

9in_Serpent · Answer

Me lol

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes me

poshspice123 · Answer

Yes I do

Pinay_ako · Answer

My mother

sheenagwapa · Answer

yep i know someone

slatyb · Answer

Yes, many.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I do.

laly520 · Answer

my father

sheikalana · Answer

Yes.

BLP11520 · Answer

Very few

Nice222 · Answer

My wife.

eagle1951 · Answer

i know many

Do you know anyone who is kind without expecting anything in return?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you know anyone who is kind without expecting anything in return?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.