There's a reason why they say you are who you are trapped. If you want good people, you got to be a good person yourself. The Bible says there is not one that is good. But that doesn't mean you can't strive to be perfect, and being perfect can also mean striving to be a good person. If you are born a good and kind person, wide trailer up for the world? The reason why God says what he says is not to hurt us but to help us. He understands the struggles of this life because of the sin that we are born into. People will live out their sins because they are unsaved. But that doesn't mean that people can't change if they truly want to. So if you know that you are a victim of not only life circumstances, but at the hands of other people. And this is my advice to you who's been there. It's not worth becoming the one person you hate. It may sound good on paper to become better, cold, heartless, closed off, Etc. But at the end of the day, if that is not naturally you, you just going to destroy yourself from the inside out. It only pays off if you believe that it does. I can tell you that it does, and you may not agree, you can say things that you agree with, and I may not agree with it. But what matters is what do you want out of your life? That's what really counts the most. Because one can say they believe in God, and don't trust God. Others may not believe in God, and I only trust themselves. Others may not trust anybody, and still don't trust themselves. Trust is hard to do, but it's something that we have to do. Just don't put your trust in the wrong kind of people.
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The best option is to disassociate yourself with negative people who want to inflict negative harm onto your life in any way, shape, or form. If someone is disrespectful- then call it out directly in the most respectful way possible, and then avoid them not giving them any attention at all.
It took me a lot of years to figure this out. I was hot headed for a lot of years and wanted to challenge anyone who showcased the slightest amount of disrespect. What I found is that I wasted a tremendous amount of energy on something that didn’t benefit me in anyway. I was also humbled many times lol.
Being genuinely kind, respectful, and assertive simultaneously is something that takes time to master. But once you establish this kind of demeanor- your life as a man becomes a lot more streamline and easier.
The way I look at is this- if someone is being rude or disrespectful, then they’re not worth my time. I value myself enough to realize that negative influences have negative consequences on the trajectory of my life.
If someone is blatantly rude for no apparent reason, then I’m going to assume I’m better than them in this moment of life. No one who is confident, self-assured, and well balanced in their life is putting others down for no reason. They possess emotional instability, and seek to fill a void by insufficient and unfulfilling means, even if they’re ignorant to their reasoning.
They’re simply not worth your time. Never accept or tolerate disrespectful behavior- even if it’s from a superior. Bad boss? Get a new job or work for yourself. Accepting this kind of behavior will in time diminish your self-worth and confidence. Surrounding yourself with positive uplifting people will influence your life towards success.
It pays off for me. I don’t care what anyone else does. I’m going to do what I do and I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I’m always the way I am. I had guys tell me I was simping for pussy because I work hard at my job. I always work hard at my job no matter what the circumstances are.
People are fucking stupid. I don’t give a good god damn what anyone thinks or how they act. People are fucking ignorant animals and they are going to act crazy. And then the other animals are going to act crazy in response.
I choose to be a civilized human being. But maybe that is a privilege I get. I’m a big dude. Nobody is gonna do shit to me. If I was a short man, I could imagine the way I act being taken advantage of. Though I would still stand my ground and stand up for myself, and do what I’m going to do even if I was a small guy. But I think it’s a fact that if I was a small man or a woman, people would try much harder to take advantage of my kindness.
I always try to be a good person but if you fuck with me it’s curtains for you. I’ll give you a fucking good stern talking to lol. I don’t need to fight. I’ll stare you in your fucking eyes and tell you you’re fucking up. That’s the difference between being a kind person who gets taken advantage of and a kind person who doesn’t.
A truly kind person leads other people toward the truth. And the truth is that being a good person is always good for you, and good for those around you. If you start acting a fool and trying to get at me because you think you’re cool or sly or you can get something from me, you’re sorely mistaken and I’m gonna call you out for it.
Being kind does not mean you have no boundaries. It does not mean you become the world nicest doormat either.
Before becoming kind to the world learn how to be kind to yourself so you are truly fulfilled by the kindness you offer to others.
If you are kind but weak, naive, or always taken advantage of. Then you are the author of your own misery and you are attracting the type of people who would use you, suck you dry, and throw you once they're done with you. Simply just because they can and you're an easy target.
You have an obligation to offer kindness to yourself and protect yourself from such mistreatment. To be happy and ensure you raise a happy family. If you don't live your true self first don't ever believe people will love you just because you are kind! most likely your partner will eventually get sick of it and your kids will think they have a weak parent who put the world interest before theirs.
Watch videos about establishing healthy boundaries, assertiveness, living your true self, and happiness. Don't just accept mistreatment and blame the world for your own behavior. Offer kindness to those who deserve it. To children for example. But have boundaries in your day to day life. And read how by not having healthy boundaries with kindness can actually make you more prone to getting terminal illness. That's what science say.
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I made up my mind a long time ago that I wouldn't let negative people change how I act, think, and feel. I go out of my way to be kind (literally just spent $50 making a Covid get well soon basket for a friend) because I feel that way in my heart and that good things happen to good people. I think I do a fairly good job surrounding myself with like minded people who lead their lives with love and kindness, but of course you run into situations where that is not the case, and then what do you do if say they are co-workers or family that you can't so easily get away from?
You've got to know that good people exist everywhere. That is the truth. Seek them out, surround yourself with them, or whenever you get a chance, reach out to them on the phone or via text or email to just help remind yourself who you are and that your kindness will be accepted by those people who are able to accept the kindness you give---not everyone is receptive towards that, but that is not your fault if they can't recognize that. I totally get what you're saying. I'm even on the fence about whether karma really does exist. I like to think karma exists, like when someone does something horrible, it's comforting to think karma will come back to get them. But, too many times I've seen bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people.
All that aside, I do everything I can everyday to be kind. You never know what kind of battle someone else might be fighting. There are so many scary and bad things in the world (especially now), and a little extra kindness never hurt anyone. I can't control how other people act or treat others, but I can control myself. There have been a handful of times when I have made a tremendous impact on someone else's life just by showing kindness and compassion, and I feel so fortunate to have been a part of it.You're confused, kid.
There are such a thing as being stupidly kind, having little self-worth, and not being assertive.
It appears you're all of these things, and worse, a believer you're doing the "right" thing by being a coward, and tolerating their behaviour.
You don't make wolves go away by giving them your lambs. You make them respect what is yours, and your boundaries. It's probably too late for you with your existing circle, as the people have turned toxic.
But maybe when you leave home/town for college, or something else, cut those people out your life and don't let people treat you like that again.Very much relate, I was a very questionable character, kinda nazi like, not a person you want to meet,. Times change and lo and behold I'm different.
People of course still see me for who I was.
Some differ but there are so many seething haters.
Being kind rewards you and others
The fact you feel effected like this indicated that perhaps you wish some form of praise when in reality, you should never ask for it, its polite to respond with thanks.
It does pay off, just keep yourself straightBeing kind is more about what kind of person you are than who the other person is. I'm kind to others because that's the kind of man I want to be, and it pays off regardless of how others respond. At the end of the day, I have to live with my actions and I want them to be consistent with my values.
That's a very naive way of looking at things. But kindness doesn't need to be a net negative if it isn't returned; and that's where the line should be drawn. People deserve the benefit of the doubt, and basic courtesy. But only go out of your way for those who would do the same for you.
Honestly, being kind has more often caused me additional hardships and pain than if I were more apathetic in many situations.
People are users - If you leave yourself open to being used, then some people will use you. Kindness is a weakness in their eyes, and marks you as an easy target for them.
Nothing wrong with being kind, but you need to be guarded at the same time and only extend that kindness to those you feel will not abuse it.I can totally relate to this. I would remain kind since that is who I am and I don’t regret it. I try to look at things differently that maybe people who treat others horrible cause they have stuff in their life that might be hard for them or that’s all they know how to treat people. Honestly it mostly looks bad on them especially if you remain kind towards them. Now don’t get me wrong I will speak up for myself in a heartbeat. Just don’t let people walk all over you. Keep being kind you never know when someone will appreciate it.
I believe good deeds done for the benefit of others or society or God or even self are rewarded by God
Good deeds done for status or reputation or praise or approval or friendship often go unrewardedI personally believe that while there maybe a first golden lights, the majority of the world is full of selfabsored bastards...
That doesn't mean one should not be kind to ones fellow man, but the first thing to remember when being kind to others is to be kind to yourself as you can't help anyone if you are not well and by treating yourself kindly you dont exceed your limits of which you can give...I believe that "sucking up" to someone who treats you bad will only earn you less respect. it can drag on almost endlessly if you don't give a proper response.
you can always be kind to a random person in need if you see one. you can always help someone out because you like them. don't be kind to someone who is known to trample on you because they don't like you.Yes, your reaction is your responsibility and whether your paying attention or not people are always watching and listening. You cannot control what others do, nor are you meant to. You can be kind but firm. However, this means you ought to know yourself.
Sometimes you have to go hard on people that come at you with bullshit so that you don’t become a victim, other times you have to eat shit when there is something more important on the line. No solution fits all situations.
No, I do not.
If you allow people to continuously mistreat or take advantage of you, they won't stop.
Sure by all means be kind to strangers and friends, but don't waste your time with crappy people.Nope. I’m not really a fan of turning the other cheek. I treat people the way they deserve. If they’re kind then I’m kind. If they’re an asshole, then I’m a bitch.
I believe so yes, in the long run.
Being kind, compassionate and an all round good person is my weakness and my strength. I've been taken advantage of, walked over, but I still refuse to believe that people are inherently bad.It eventually pays off in ways you would never expect. And so what if it doesn't, you can sleep at night peacefully knowing that you're a good person. Don't take that for granted.
Yes, it doesn't matter what they say or do you just keeping being nice and polite. Don't let them drag you down with them, if you stay strong they will lose the fight. I can't stress this enough, it doesn't matter what they're doing, never give up if they are physically hurting you. Only then you can strike when they lest expect it. Carry on✊
I would always choose being kind instead of being rude or an arrogant specially at my work place even if the people around me is treating me like sh*t.
Yes kindness will pay off, it only takes a while. If people treat you bad, get away fron them. Works really well, I've done it plenty of times and never regraded it
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