Search Results: she thinks i'm boring

i might seem like a pessimistic, but i feel that we do live to die - for me at least.

I've always felt that life was studying hard, getting into a university, working, earning enough money to live well, and then dying. There's no joy for me at all. I have hobbies, like watching dramas and playing games. But it's the same routine and just boring. Maybe somedays something cool and fascinating happens, but that's all.

When my boyfriend entered my life, that was the only time when i felt that life was worth looking forward to. Looking forward to spending everyday with him, exploring new things, doing new things together. But now he's gone, im having that concept where we live to die again, and life seems so meaningless to me. Explore the world by myself? I'm not up to that.

This daunting thought makes me want to kill myself sometimes, since there's no meaning to this anyways. Thoughts, people?

This is not the kind of life i like living..

There are some people... and i have some friends too. That may only hang out with me for a reason to share unrelated gossip or drama thats happened to them... or only talk to me to share this sort of stuff. When they know im not the gossipy or drama type.

Why can't we have normal convos without getting involved in other peoples drama. But like i end up getting dragged into it anyway. Oh well. I think everyone is like this. And i just dislike it i really do. :/ And then it may end up turn into a fight or people hating you for no reason.

I mean its nice to have/talk about something interesting in our lives. Instead of having boring time. But its like their personal stuff. Its good to just create ur own moments with ur friend. And keep it between themselves. Not brining someone elses life in the mix, especially when i dont know them. Considering i simply dont care. I find it hard to relate to people... or my friends sometimes.