Search Results: suicidal thoughts

Back in the beginning of 2015, I was suicidal because I couldn't find another virgin to lose my virginity to. I was overdosing on my meds and kept going in and out of hospitals.

I was on this dating platform, OKCupid, and this girl messaged me. She contacted me first and I started talking to her. I explained my situation and she didn't believe me. She then avoided me.

I ended up being hospitalized again for a suicide attempt. After I was released, I messaged her and sent her a picture of my hospital wristband as proof that I was hospitalized. She then believed me and we started messaging again.

Come to find out she was 16. I was 20 at the time, but looking at the state laws in the state she resided, she was of legal age for sex.

We started talking more and more and even snapchatted. After a few months, we agreed to meet up. She was hesitant at first but she decided to go through with it.

I drove 7 hours all the way to her state to meet her. We walked the mall, had an ice cream, then we went to the hotel and we took each other's virginities. I even still have the pictures of the blood stained sheets when I popped her cherry.

The day after, we spent the entire day at the amusement park. I fell in love with her I thought. It was all affection and holding hands and kissing. I thought I found my first girlfriend. Later before we departed, she told me she did not want anything serious it shattered my heart.

I stopped talking to her for two weeks. Then I messaged her again and she said she was glad I contacted her and she had locked herself in her room crying at one point.

We started talking again, and at one point she told me I was the best guy she ever met. Although she led me on a little, she said she did not want a relationship. I was crushed.

Later, I started to question if she really was a virgin and even called her up crying. She reassured me I was her first.

Eventually I made her mad and she told me to never talk to her again.

this has nothing to do with her being pregnant, we both consented to me ejaculating in her, but after i found she lied to me about something that caused me major anxiety i left her. i try not to feel bad about it because i feel like i was in the right for leaving. i guess if i had known she was lying i would have not got her pregnant.

she told me she won't put my name on the certificate or anything and i won't find out if she's pregnant regardless, i'm not mad at her or anything at all. it's just i felt used or something. but it breaks my heart just leaving her alone to take care of this kid and the kid not knowing his father but to be honest im not sure i'll love the kid at all because it came from a lie. maybe this makes me horrible and shitty and its not that i don't love my ex its just i can't. the only thing giving me peace is the thought of leaving everyone and everything. because i already know this is gonna make me depressed and suicidal which doesn't even seem fair considering what my ex would go through. she also won't get an abortion which i totally understand and accept.
it’s just she lied to me about talking to guys and when we broken up she immediately starts messaging guys and it was too much lies and shit. Now she’s saying the doesn’t want to move on and she didn’t lien because she never told me anything. But I just don’t want To be with her anymore

Let me just start off by saying that my mother isn't the worst mother in the world, and she wasn't outright abusive (or at least I don't think she was), but I just think she failed as a parent, but it's not entirely her fault because she picked most of this stuff up from her mother.

She was sleeping around with a couple different men at the time I was conceived so we don't know who exactly my biological father is. This made me uncomfortable with sex even till this day.

She let me drink Coke since I was 2 followed up by more unhealthy habits which let me to struggle with obesity my entire life.

When she was mad at someone that wasn't around she would take it out on me. Usually by yelling at me when I asked what's for dinner, I still struggle to ask questions to people.

She didn't let me do boxing as a kid so I can stand up to my bullies. She said it was too dangerous.

There were a couple of times she choked me for being clumsy as a kid.

She married a drunk for my first step dad.

She never tried to understand my issues. I once tried to tell her that I was having suicidal thoughts and she just threatened to put me in a mental hospital and said "I could've just aborted you."

She put cigarettes and weed before food.

She always fought my battles for me, even till this day and I never learned to be a man.

She's very lazy and always procrastinates and is irresponsible with money which didn't set a good example.

She never really payed attention to me as a kid because she was focused on my older siblings.

She cared more about my grades than my mental health. I started experiencing symptoms of Schizophrenia and depression at 14 and my grades started slipping especially after my grandmother dies when I was 16. I was just a lettet to her and she made me feel worthless.

She basically dumped me in the failing school system's lap and expected them to turn me into a man, and the school system just put me on aderall which gave me Tourettes.

But I still love my mother