Is it my fault that he abused me? Did I drive him to do that? Am I the problem?

Anonymous
I was in a relationship with a guy for three years. When it was good, I thought I could spend the rest of my life with him. When it was bad, I started to have suicidal thoughts low self-esteem and acceptance of myself.
In the beginning, there were some issues that occurred that resulted in him yelling or insulting me but it didn't occur too often so I just understood that it was because he said he had a bad childhood and was raised to react that way, so I let it go.
These fights started to occur frequently towards the end of my relationship over me being upset that I was losing a lot of money because him nor his friends could pay for rent for four months. I also felt that I had to clean the house and take care of everything else while being a student and working at a part-time job. I took this anger out on him with passive-aggressive tactics, giving him the cold shoulder etc. I don't think I was being a good girlfriend when I was like that, which is why I am on this site asking this question.
Was it my fault when he would slash back by calling me a useless, a bitch, stupid, worthless etc. that gave me those suicidal thoughts? Was it my fault that he would steal my phone and wallet and block the doors to prevent me from leaving? Was it my fault that he would throw me on the bed/ push me around or broke my things out of anger? Is it perfectly reasonable that my annoyance and stress in my argument should drive him to that point and should I have just been a better girlfriend?
My family tells me that I am the victim but it's so difficult to believe them. It feels like I things would have gotten better because when I decided to leave him he finally got a job and would have been able to cover rent and we wouldn't have had those arguments anymore.
I am also very against women in relationships who lie and manipulate people to think that they were the victim when in fact they drove that person to that point of abuse or they, in fact, abused their significant other as well.
Is it my fault that he abused me? Did I drive him to do that? Am I the problem?
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