Search Results: living together before marriage

I'm married, and so is the guy I'm seeing on the side. We both have kids, and our marriages are both on the rocks. The guy, whom I'll call Jim, worked with my husband, and one night we all decided to get together and double date at a bowling alley. His wife "Nina" and I didn't get along from the beginning. We were drinking rum before we left, and drank a lot of beer at the bowling alley. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I came back in there was Jim by the door, and he gave me a hug. It was pretty innocent, and he told me I give the best hugs. I enjoyed it because, well, I was attracted to him. We all took a taxi back to my house, where we drank more and played cards. We all had fun, but the hug was still on my mind. After cards, they slept in my kids room because the kids weren't home and everyone was drunk, so they stayed. Needless to say, I got up in the middle of the night and found Jim and started making out with him in the hallway. Then we went into the living room and kissed for hours. No sex obvi bc our spouses were in other rooms. The whole week afterward we texted nonstop. He came back the following weekend, and we did it again, with my husband passed out in the other room. After that we have pretty much been inseparable.. this was 3 months ago. He quit his job and stopped talking to my husband entirely now. There is no sign that we ever talk to or see each other. We have fallen so madly and deeply in love with each other that it's scary. I can't go a moment without thinking about him or worrying about him. I mean, damn.. he quit his job for me!! I'm trying to move out in a month. I'm not going to move in with this guy, at least not for a long time.. I'm not leaving my husband for him, I'm leaving for me. It isn't fair to my husband either for me to be here. I'm just wondering if I should trust him. I really think I can, but the whole thing has got me in a tailspin like this is a bad way to start a relationship. I KNOW he loves me.. no question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and have lived together for about seven months. Six years ago, he and his ex-wife divorced after twelve years of marriage. He told me that he didn't want the divorce, but she did because she didn't like how he works a lot (he's a doctor) and he didn't want to have children. She's now re-married (guess who was the best man) and living in Texas (my boyfriend and I live in Massachusetts). Her and her new husband have two children and one on the way (guess who's the godfather). He has two kids of his own (twins) from a relationship after her and before me. Although she and my boyfriend are divorced, I'm uncomfortable because she and my boyfriend are still very good friends.

Here are my reasons:
- When I first started dating him, we admitted to each other that we both have an ex we think we'll always care about (although several months into our relationship he told me that he understands why it never worked out for him and his ex-wife because he never would have met me if it had)
- He says she'll always be a close friend.
- He attended his ex-wife's wedding (this was a few years before I met him, but I'm still uncomfortable by it because who does that?)
- She visits Massachusetts once or twice a year to visit friends, and whenever she's here, she always stops by to see my boyfriend. She even greets him with a kiss!
- I get a vibe that she doesn't like me. She seems condescending towards me. My boyfriend says she's just wary about the age difference, but I feel like she should have no opinion because they're divorced! I did meet her husband (and their kids) and he seems very nice.
- He travels with her when they go overseas for charity work and they stay in the same hotel room! (It happened once since I started dating him, but he told me they'd done it before. We had an argument over it and he said they'd stay in separate hotel rooms from now on, but it still bothers me that he even did it!)