Search Results: afraid to make a move

I've hired 3 different escorts in the past, the first one twice, the second one once, and the third one once. The reason I did the first one twice is because she was very nice to me, talked to me a lot outside of the appointment, and I liked spending time with her. The reasons why I was looking for one in the first place is because I'd moved and I had nobody, I felt terrible and the very unwelcoming locals (many told me to go back to where I came from) certainly didn't help anything. I didn't see her again because I developed a bond with her that crossed the boundaries. The second one didn't treat me well at all, and the third ripped me off. I did them two because I was dealing with so much, and the tension was building up, and I felt like the only way to release it was to have sex, and I have too many unfixable issues to be able to get a girlfriend or hookup. It helped temporarily, but the tension is building back up and with it being almost a year since meeting the first girl, I've been thinking about seeing her! I've worked a ton to make myself better despite all the shit I continue to go through such as medical issues (unrelated stuff), but I'm afraid I'll fall back on the progress I've made by doing this, how do I prevent that from happening?