Search Results: dont trust boyfriend

You need to know, i am in a kind of relationship with this guy i met for some months now. We are not officially dating and we decided that we won't change that so soon. We are just like a couple.
i have feelings for him -i dont love him but there is something and he is the best thing that happened to me, and I also got the vibes that he likes me, too.
To the story: we had prom. I was there with some of my friends and he was there with his and we have seen each us there just for a second.
One friend of mine had a big crush on my other friend and i shipped them a lot. At one point me and him were alone on the dancefloor and we talked about his crush and i told him what to do to get her and so
- i should mention that we both were little drunk BUT i am not gonna blame it on the alcohol - we were dancing and having fun and suddenly we were making out... it was for about 2 minutes till i stopped it bcs i realized that thats a huge mistake.
My „boyfriend“ found out about it and he run over to my bestfriend... he was maaaad and he also had tears in his eyes... he talked to her snd he told her that i should not call him ever again... he indirectly said that he is done with me.

I texted him and called him a lot but he ignored me. He didn't want to see me.
I am so sorry, and i reget it soooo much... i dont know what happend to me or why i did it and i can't justify nothing... i know it was a mistake and that i hurt him bad but i dont want to lose him. He means so fking much to me.

You have to know i dont have a lot if experience with dating and stuff like that, and that i am actually always loyal and a romantic type person... I've risked a lot for him in the past months, just to be with him.
It was planned that i will save myself till marriage but i was ready to give this up for him -thats how much he means to me bcs i would never sleep with someone i dont trust or have feelings for

He was my first time for everything and i dont wanna loose him.