Search Results: fear of rejection

How you came over it

It seems there is an unfair expectation for guys to be the first to initiate contact and evince their feelings or desire for the other person, even though the reasons why girls choose not to do so apply equally to us guys. We're human too, after all, so we also have a fear of rejection, get nervous or become unsure of what to say, can be inexperienced, shy, awkward, diffident, etc.

So why the double standard? And why does the burden of the first approach fall mostly on us?

Everyone fears it at one point, or another.

From middleschool into adulthood.

Rejection.

... but what of are we actually afraid?

My name is Oka, and I'm a professional wingman, for both men, and women. I advise, and assist people in learning how not to be afraid. Before we can address what of we're afraid, we have to discover what fear is.

There are VERY real reasons to be afraid.

Here are some scenarios.

An armed assailant wants your wallet, or your purse. You're staring down the barrel of a pistol so close you can see the caliber. The threat is real, and you have every reason to be afraid.

You're hiking, you're alone, and cross paths with a starving mountain lion. You have every reason to be afraid.

You fall in a tiger pit at a zoo. Zoo keepers are rushing to get tranq guns, and rifles... but the tiger is only five feet away. Be afraid.

These seem outlandish.

Outside of the most extreme scenarios, freak accidents, and unlikely outcomes, odds are in your favor (especially if you're not taking late night walks down dark alleys, or lonely streets; hiking alone , or jumping into tiger pits) that you're not going to end up in these situations. I'm notnsaying these such things cannot hapoen, only that the odds are infantismal that they will.

Fear, by and large is imagined. We as people live life under the guise of "What if".

What if this? What if that?

... but what is "what if"?

What if often leads to fear... and fear is largely imagine. It is an imagined outcome of an unlikely scenario what has not yet occurred, and probably will not.

The good thing about flirting, dating, asking someone out, or revealing your feelings, is that the worse they could do is reject you.

... so what's wrong with that?

Every coin has two sides, and to get to the meat and potatoes of your fears, we have to address hypocrisy. Has someone ever asked you out, and you simply didn't feelcthat same attraction? Have you ever had to reject someone?