Do you have a fear of rejection?

Question

How you came over it

SomeOtherGuy · Accepted Answer

Yes.

How do I overcome it, so I can successfully date?
I shifted my idea of rejection.

Some, perhaps even yourself, put a lot of weight on what rejection means.

You might be rejected, and think it means you are unworthy of love, playing into your self-doubts.

Or, you could be rejected, and think now everyone thinks you're a creep, or a weirdo, for asking someone out and getting rejected. Or they'll tell everyone they rejected you, furthering your humiliation.

Or it could just be terribly awkward to hear rejection, and you wan't to avoid that discomfort.

Or all of these.

If any of this resonates with you, read further.

Rejection doesn't deserve that kind of weight.

Rejection places no value or devaluation of you as a lover, worker, or even as a human being. Your ability to improve is not diminished by rejection, and any facets of yourself or your personality you need to grow is always on the table waiting for you. So grow.
Yes, some people are not conventionally attractive, and your values are not always compatible.
But we have evolved to be highly social creatures, and the things you can change about yourself and you have control over are the most desirable. You can be valued based on your potential, which you should be tapping in to.

Second, no one cares if you were rejected or not except you. You haven't ruined anyone's day. You haven't broken a law asking someone out on a date. It's socially acceptable to be attracted to someone, and socially acceptable to approach and ask them out. If they reject you, you are still safe, sound, and healthy. Nothing is lost. Accept it, and move on to the next person you find attractive. Let go of unrequited feelings, because dwelling on unrequited feelings can lead you to very shitty places, like obsession, stalking, self-doubt, and power-play in the most unhealthy of forms.

Lastly, if being rejected makes you feel awkward, you may be dwelling on those feelings. You may be playing up anxiety. Perhaps you need some treatment, be it medicine and/or therapy. Either way, you must face the fact that your anxiety is irrational, and that you may need to ask for help.
Rejection is an important part of life, and if you do not address it, you will fail when you do not want to fail.

ak667 · Accepted Answer

Same way as any other fear. I just gradually exposed myself to it, until it didn't affect me anymore. I've been rejected more times than I can probably count! :-D Though sometimes I was really drunk and I didn't realize, at the time, that asking a girl out when you can barely form a coherent sentence isn't going to come with the highest probability of success. But after so many rejections, it became something to laugh off after a while.

Gottabsavagee · Accepted Answer

I do without a reason so sometimes it prevents me from doing something lol then I'm like ef this so I do it still.

Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it. Pushing back is only bad for you. You can miss on oppurtunities. You have nothing to lose by trying.

5yrup · Accepted Answer

i think so because I've never had the guts to approach anyone, ever. i dont see a situation in which that works out for me

Logorithim · Answer

Not in the least. I can count the number of times I chickened out of talking to a woman on two fingers.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Virtually EVERYONE has a fear of rejection when they are young. Repeated experience - discovering that rejection is not fatal - makes it fade.

englisc · Answer

No I don't. I overcame it by realising that it's not a big deal and by being rejected a bunch of times. As men we mostly have to make the first move and initiate things every step of the way, from approaching, to asking for her number, to asking her out, to the first kiss, to sex etc. At each step we face rejection. The fear of rejection prevents you from ever making that move, and as a result often things will go nowhere. But once you realise that it's not a big deal, you get rejected a bunch of times and nothing bad really happens, you can do those things more easily and laugh it off if things go wrong. And the funny thing is that if you can laugh it off without being upset, you can probably try again and succeed e. g. on a date with a girl I went for the kiss and she gave me her cheek, I just smiled. Later I went for it again and she kissed me back. If I'd let it upset me or apologised I would have just looked like a huge pussy in her eyes and turned her off, and it would have ruined my night, all because I had such a fear of it and gave it so much weight when it wasn't really a big deal.

Dionigi · Answer

Embrace it.
She rejects you, then she spared you a relationship in which you both would have been unhappy, now you have the opportunity to pursue a better relationship with someone else.
Rejection is muuuuuch better than cheating.

kiminonawa · Answer

I have this fear, cause I was always getting rejected and abandoned. Now that I don't want to have friends and have met my husband, who loves and appreciates me, I don't have this fear, but I wouldn't like to have new friends.

Adream · Answer

I don’t really care about being rejected, to this day I’ve only ever been rejected once and it didn’t make me feel bad I moved on it’s what I do

Jessicaml · Answer

I do but my fear of just missing out is stronger so I push myself

16johnhunter · Answer

I do have a great if rejection, I never came over it

NeglectedChild · Answer

It's hard to say no when you're held at gun point. I kid of course.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

I think everyone does. It just depends on what kind rejection it is, some people may not care about career rejection but may care about romantic rejection.

Gerpar · Answer

Yeah, big time. Especially as a Game Developer. I'm anxious when showing people my games because I'm afraid they won't like them.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't fear rejection. But for some reason I'm just still too shy to ask a woman for her phone number sex we can go out! Lol.

SkipStop · Answer

I had it and it prevented me from approaching anyone. Now that I don't want to approach anyone, it probably disappeared.

MountainDewMan · Answer

You overcome it by realizing the world doesn’t revolve around you. Doesn’t mean you aren’t important. Just means not going to happen today. Plus if you are truly a good person you will find someone. It’ll happen.

ZachxxBach · Answer

A lot of people do. And it sucks when you like someone and never get to know if they like you back.

up_64 · Answer

Nah. I've never been rejected. I've been ghosted once and to make things worse i have four hours a week of sitting beside said girl in class. The level of awkward.

boimofo · Answer

Not anymore... It can't hurt more than it did the first time like 12 years ago then it became less of a big thing because I kept getting rejected and then I stopped trying...

Eryxx · Answer

Yeah, I do have a fear of rejection and I can't overcome it because I'm ugly.

owens97 · Answer

not rejection. how i came over it i guess I never had it maybe briefly before i asked a girl the first time but after that i was fine

ToToRoUNKnoWn · Answer

Being rejected just means the person is being honest with you, so no rejection is not that bad it's better than being led on that's just my opinion though

anametouse · Answer

Yes. The only way to overcome it is to try again and take a risk. You will either get rejected again or find someone worth your time. It's not an easy game to play

Kenni · Answer

Learned to laugh about everything. Never show weakness. And never get too close to anyone.

stormbreaker06 · Answer

there is no such thing.  the only rejection that exist is when you are trying to survive and can't.

Anonymous · Answer

I just don't talk to women anymore. I get rejected all the time all because I'm not their type. So I say, "Clearly all of you ladies are going to be like this. Fine, fuck you all too".

Yes I know that was blunt, but that's how I deal with rejection.

avalonbob · Answer

Nah, I got used to it a long time ago. Maybe I should get a new line instead of, "Wanna get lucky, babe?"

Grayout · Answer

No but I've stopped putting myself so I don't waste my energy trying to only get reject every time

Genie23 · Answer

Only in career.

CrazyCroGuy · Answer

"Don't let the fear of losing keep you from playing"

Lance1965 · Answer

No it doesn't bother me at all. It drives me to try harder next time.

Krazzymike321 · Answer

Yes, I still have it. I got it from, well, being rejected.

Anonymous · Answer

I think everyone who really has feelings for someone would be afraid of rejections. (peachykeen21, I miss you)

Megatrizzle · Answer

To an extent yeah, it's kind of complicated.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

Kind of but I'm slowly becoming prone to it

MaxPlum · Answer

I used to, but not really anymore

Chaz269 · Answer

I don't fear it, but I bear it terribly.

ROCKS128 · Answer

I have.😂😂 Its aweful

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

I reject everyone

LegateLanius · Answer

No. I'm just tired of hearing it.

DakotaNorth · Answer

I'm rejected all the time. I take it as fact.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I have, and I can't get over it

ChloeStarfire · Answer

Not at all

sarahhcmarie · Answer

mehh sorta

RIVERTAY888 · Answer

l am nothing but a reject

barryparker · Answer

Everyone does. If he said no - his fear is bigger

JuanFrank7 · Answer

Not anymore

legalboxers · Answer

Im use to it

CT_CD · Answer

Yes...

Zykov_Vityaz · Answer

i never feared it

Do you have a fear of rejection?

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