Are you afraid of rejection?

Question

Beautiful people have more insecurity about rejection than average looking people, Why 🤔?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm pretty average looking but yea I'm definitely scared of rejection and most men that have given up on dating did the same. Here's a little story for you.

Last week I went to the bar to get a pint of cider. There was a cute girl that was my type came into the bar, and I decided to try and ask her if I could buy her a drink and see if I could strike up a conversation. It took me two pints and twenty minutes to work up the guts to ask her because I've been hurt and rejected so many times, I have to brace myself or I'll cry on the spot when I get turned down.

After 20 mins and 2 pints I walked over. I was wearing cologne I was well dressed; I took off my hat and held it in my hand to be polite and all I said was. "Hey, can I maybe buy you a drink?" I wasn't creepy, I was polite, and I wasn't touching her and had at least 3 feet between us, so I wasn't invading her space either.

She smiled and said "No, thank you though." And I went home and lost my shit after being rejected for the 100th fucking time and just broke down crying and hitting myself and punching hard things to hurt myself. I damn near broke my hand and I still have black and blue spots all over my body. My knuckles still make me wince when I put pressure on them.

This isn't even the worst one in fact this was one of the best rejections I've ever had. I've had the full spectrum. I've been stood up, unknowingly used as cover for a gay chick, laughed at. "One time she walked over to her friends and literally whispered pointed and they all laughed at me. I've been strung along then tossed aside for my best friend instead and the closest thing I ever had to a girlfriend in high school I found out 2 years ago cheated on me BY RAPING MY FUCKING FRIEND!"

Alos the thing about rejection is it does a lot of damage. It makes you feel unwanted, unlovable and ugly and that damage stacks more and more until eventually you start cracking and eventually snap and just can't take it anymore.

The last time a woman even showed interest in me I had to ask her directly if she was flirting with me because I'm so unused to being treated well by them I thought she was just being nice until she started being very overt. (We didn't go out we talked for about a day and a half, but it didn't go anywhere because of the distance between us.)

This is how uneven the dynamic is between men being the ones who have to ask out woman. What took me 20 mins and 20 bucks to work up the guts to do was dismissed in under 5 seconds. Why the fuck would men ever want to do this unless they were desperate for someone to love them or had a massive amount of confidence?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

When I was younger I was somewhat , but as i got older , and the things I have witnessed and experienced through the years , I no longer fear rejection , Don’t get me wrong being rejected sucks , but it isn’t the end of the world , there are plenty of fish in the sea and not every one of them is going to like you or dislike you , it’s just the chance we take when it comes to being interested in someone , My thing is I rather take the chance than not take the chance at all because at least I have an answer instead of no answer at all

Babygirl_S · Accepted Answer

I mean someone’s dog certainly can’t reject me. He is getting rejected by his favourites. I wouldn’t mind getting rejected by a superior man I couldn’t level up for like someone like Henry Cavill. In that case, it feels more like a wake up call that he’s way above me. But if he’s some simp who begs for the attention of some other girls but acts like I specifically don’t matter then it can just enrage me. Like some other girls don’t even look at you twice and when it comes to me you act like you’re someone “too good” for me. It’s just embarrassing to get rejected by someone who gets rejected daily unless he’s specifically shitty towards me which can turn a witch on and she may pay some heed. If he’s not REALLY a hot favourite and acts like I don’t matter, I just absolutely dislike. So many Indian boys who will NEVER be my dream boys to give me those sensations deep inside act like they have “rejected” me as they walk hand in hand with their ugly wives who are fat with lots of hyperpigmentation on their faces complete with a receding jaw. How can you reject a girl who doesn’t prioritise you in the first place? She’s only giving you a chance out of her good character thinking “so what he’s so physically unattractive? Maybe he’s a good lover” Only to find out he’s an Indian boy after all who yearns for the validation of a white girl like he is still a slave and colonialism still exists. It’s after all an Indigger who pees in the street or barks “get your ass fucked” when you REJECT his sexual advances instead of accepting it gracefully saying “Ok! I hope you find what you’re looking for!”

ashleighthelashtech · Accepted Answer

I don’t even know if im even a little attractive anymore.

A relationship with a narcissist made me have a cortisol face and piled on weight comfort eating. People who knew me before him are shocked when they see me now so i definitely have a reason to be insecure now.

used to be pretty, a diva. Now im a ugly mom with zero sense of style.

Summeroflove · Answer

Beautiful people often don’t know they are attractive. That’s why they put so much effort into their appearances because they feel insecure about themselves AT TIMES…. But not always.

The next thing is that yes pretty/handsome privilege can be a real thing at times. But there are plenty of people who go out of their own way to treat attractive people like shit even if they never did anything to them.

People of the same sex such as a woman being mean to a attractive woman or man being mean to a attractive man. Is because they feel threatened by them. You may be wondering. What did I ever do to this person? But the truth of the matter is that they’re trying to tear you down because they feel insecure and envious. Especially if their significant other is around they want to show who the alpha is.

People of the opposite sex figure they don’t have a chance with you. So they become envious as well and will be rude to you intentionally because they’re used to getting rejected by the more attractive people. So they will take bitterness on men/women out on someone whose good looking. People who are bitter with the opposite sex will tend to target the most attractive people.

ohsheeT · Answer

No but I don't look at it as rejection either most guys do. If I've been turned down the girl has always told me why and most reason is not rejection it's because she is seeing some one. Or she was friends with a girl I went out with.. and I've had girls say no with no reason. But a year later run in to her and then tell me why

And in away as I was walking away with a beetred face talking to myself. Looking around to see if anybody just saw me get turned down lol. I would always tell my self it's ok you needed that some how I seen it as making me a better person some how

HawkPerception · Answer

I am not beautiful by any means and I'd say I'm fearful of rejection. I've asked girls out maybe 3 times tops in my life (other than on dating apps... on those it's kinda presumed you're interested). My first crush in high school was one. Rejected. Second became my first girlfriend. The third I dated for about 2 weeks then she wasn't feeling it (even though I was), so yeah. But yeah it definitely hits hard when it's someone you're really interested in and would love it to work out. Then you think to yourself "How'd I fuck that up?" And most of the time you never know, because they ghost you.

DishLady · Answer

Rejection is part of life, so no, I'm not afraid of it. But a lot of people are. It makes them angry, defensive, etc., which makes people expect it of me too. I just don't have that kind of energy. What I don't like is a person who rejects and then tries to infiltrate my life in some other way. It's a "get lost" sort of moment.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’m not afraid of rejection. I don’t know that beautiful people are more afraid of rejection. If they are, it’s likely because they are unpracticed at being rejected. New and different things can seem scary at first. Since “pretty privilege” is quite real, beautiful people will never be as practiced as us ugly folks are at accepting rejection with grace.

Genie23 · Answer

I did experience being afraid of rejection but not in love. In my career instead.

LiaRaven · Answer

I wouldn’t put myself in such situations on the first place

Purpleronnie · Answer

So this is your opinion? That beautiful people always have more anxiety about rejection? Would be interesting to understand why it is that you think that? … generally I would disagree !

I would say that objectively attractive people ‘can’ have some fear or anxiety around being rejected based on their looks but it could also be rooted in experience or self perception , body image etc Perhaps some of those that are labelled attractive / beautiful feel more pressure to maintain their “looks” and so could develop a little anxiety.

I wouldn’t never say that it’s always true though , it could never be so black and white

My answer to your question am I afraid of rejection , well it depends. Who is rejecting me and what are their reasons. Who is that person to me etc. if we are talking about when I was single and dating , rejecting is just part if that , I accepted that around the age of 14 when I started to look at girls differently.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Nope. Been rejected literally more times than I can remember or count. I don't take it personally. Every person has the right to say no. And I have no idea why a given woman is saying no in a given situation. It may be me. She may be in a relationship. It may be health problems, a breakup, job stress, kid problems, or she may be a lesbian. The "no" is enough. I don't need any explanation. On to the next one.

I'll get rejected again. Hasn't killed me yet. I doubt it ever will. And I'll handle it with grace and good manners.

Anonymous · Answer

Beautiful do not have more insecurity, narcissistic people do. Their ego cannot withstand the possibility that someone does not see them as attractive as they see themselves.

I'm not afraid of rejection. I just know with most women the juice is not worth the squeeze. And I'd just rather not deal with most women's grabass games. You reach and age where happiness is more important to you unhealthy relationships. And you get much quicker at spotting and dismissing bull💩 in your life.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Unfortunately... yes. I'm an insecure son of a bitch with a TON of mental health problems, and always have been since I was a little kid...

I'm not proud of this, and hope it can change in the future, but for now, oh well I suppose. 🤷‍♂️

molonski2 · Answer

They do for certain.

Now why? I think it's to do with affirmation not only rejection , having once been living with a Stunning Asian model , her mood varied greatly when she was not constantly told she was beautiful ( this happened most days )

BUT , try being around on the days it didn't happen ! Seriously you'd think the sky had fallen in , I think this is all part of it.

Whereas for me , not at all concerned about rejection.

Bricealan · Answer

I don't think your statement is true, saying that beautiful people have 'more insecurity". I am not a 'beautiful person" but reasonably attractive, and many times I meet and talk for long periods of time with stranger, in the Mall, near my coffee shop, or elsewhere without a 'fear of rejection. My opinion only.

Steelcore5280 · Answer

I'm not necessarily afraid of rejection. I'm more nervous of the extremely negative or hostile reactions or the shaming and joking comments I'd receive in return for asking a woman out.

I've reached a point in my life where I just truly don't care about asking women out anymore and I've completely lost my interest in dating and relationships. I'm meant to live a life of bachelorhood anyways.

samael_kmarty · Answer

I am afraid of rejection from any random person. I have become too negative lately.
I reject myself even before trying.

I have been rejected 4 times by same girl but I go back to her. 😂😂😂
I was madly in love with her.
But that rejection Doesn't feel anything.
Its like in my own head that I want her and her only.

But now after 3 years I have moved on, and it's next to impossible to get one match on bumble or tinder or hinge.

Paul09 · Answer

I'd afraid the word? Maybe? Well I know I do to enjoy it. It just happened to me yesterday. And I thought we were flirting with each other. Now I have to try to move on quickly. I find it so much harder for men. Mostly men do the asking, and the females do the rejection. I have been single most of my life now. Haven't dated in years. So that is why it affects me a lot more.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Beautiful people have more fear? Hahahaha... That was Funny! You're wrong there, as "they" tend to see the beauty as a "money making scheme", so even if they get rejected, they will still get "compensated" other ways...

Anonymous · Answer

I think its the same stereotype everyone seems to belive that people who are better looking are more insecure i think everyone no matter who you are your age or gender or the way you look or how attractive you may be. Everyone wants to be valued and accepted. Noone wants to be rejected

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not in the slightest.

Howdy13 · Answer

Because no matter how many times my friends family coworkers have told me that I look good how good my personality is, i get rejected. Why try when I know what the end result is?

Flower7 · Answer

Yes, most definitely. Even getting rejected from a job that I applied for would affect me deeply.

Kaneki05 · Answer

No, because I automatically think it's gonna happen anyway so I don't fear an expected outcome.

capriVib · Answer

If it's someone I don't know and can't predict their reaction yes, I'm afraid. But I'm never afraid of a simple no.

Brittanyrunner06 · Answer

Yes, but how much depends on how much I like the person.

slatyb · Answer

I don't think that's true, but we notice it more when someone attractive doesn't see themselves that way.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Not overly much but it's different with me. I don't really see me getting much out of it if she didn't reject me.

Miristheiss · Answer

I have been married for a while.  When I was single, it wasn't the most pleasant thing.

SotiCoto · Answer

Afraid? Not so much. But after being humiliated by rejection a few times I changed my tactics. I learnt not to explicitly ask, and to become more reactionary instead.

i_am_tbjxii · Answer

When I was younger while it did hurt I handled it with grace because deep drown I know my special lady was going to come. I didn’t let it hurt my confidence. Met my person several years ago and we now get married later this year.

glennos89 · Answer

I'm scared of rejection. That's mainly because I already have a low self esteem and I'm afraid that rejection makes it worse possibly

abbyjgriffin98 · Answer

Yeah. I really only talk to people when they talk to me first.

alice55 · Answer

No if I were to be rejected I would be shocked.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

No, because there are enough other people out there.

Anonymous · Answer

Im not afraid of rejection but that it might get weird afterwards as she will know I wanted something more than friendship, sometimes after people knowing that tend to avoid that person

SamWinchester058 · Answer

Perhaps, because often they do not have the need to put themselves out there as much as "non-beautiful" people. The nonnies experience rejection at a higher rate so they are used to the pain.

foxsquirrell · Answer

Maybe average people are so used to it that it does not affect them any more. They have become accustomed to it. I don't know if the statistic you are suggesting that exists actually is true.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Beauty is subjective. Rejection hurts for anyone, regardless of what they look like. To answer your question, no I don’t fear it. It would be rather silly for someone my age to fear rejection, that’s more of a high school level thing.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Do they? I'm unattractive and my fear of rejection used to be off the Richter Scale of Rejection.

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

I think people with low self-esteem are afraid of rejection and mature people aren't afraid of rejection.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nope. It's just part of life. If everyone said, "Yes." life would be boring and self-improvement would be seriously hindered.

WonderingManII · Answer

I'm scared of rejection, because I already hurt emotionally.

genericname85 · Answer

depends on the level of emotional investment.

nl171 · Answer

I’ve always been afraid of rejection even when I wasn’t attractive at all

Anonymous · Answer

Unlike women, men face rejection on a daily basis, So no i do not fear rejection. im use to it.

Guanfei · Answer

Everyone is afraid of rejection, ugly people are just more used to it.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Attractive people fear people liking them for their looks and not their personality

Arcadian222 · Answer

Not at all. Just one door closed, there is always more

Anonymous · Answer

Is the person u are proposing to , same level of attractiveness as u?

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

No worries if you think so she will slap your face and it was a good trag6

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, but I've actually never been rejected, because I'm too shy to ask a girl out.

Flowersareawsome22 · Answer

Not really I'm afraid if his a liberal.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Extremely probably why I been single over 20 years

Apulu_backagain · Answer

Nope, I'm used to it.

lilBigPotato · Answer

Everyone has I think

exitseven · Answer

Not really, I have had plenty of practice.

Jennz6 · Answer

That’s not true

Anonymous · Answer

It terrifies me.

Anonymous · Answer

A little but it rarely happens

Jeff51 · Answer

Think a lot of people are.

princeofromance · Answer

Who isn't afraid of rejection?

Are you afraid of rejection?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said