Why do you fear REJECTION?

Question

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I don't fear rejection: I'm SICK of being rejected!
It's one thing if you're unsure if someone likes you or not, and when you approach them there's a 50/50 chance they may or may not feel the same way.

But if you're rejected time and time again, that fear turns into resentment. You get to the point where you don't even see the point in asking someone out anymore because you KNOW what it's going to lead to.

My apologies for the cynical perspective, but I'm speaking on behalf of those of us that are on the unlucky end of the dating spectrum.

But to answer your question- we fear rejection because it's a reflection on our self esteem.
It makes you wonder if something is wrong with you, are you unattractive, are you lacking something that makes people want to date you, do you have bad tastes in people... the list goes on. Basically it is a blow to your confidence and as stated above, it makes you question even wanting to approach or try dating others because you're not sure if it's you or the other person (s).

peachyknees · Accepted Answer

There are more components involved:
- our brains are wired in such a way to associate rejection with pain, and that is mostly because back in the day, when we had to live in tribes, being rejected basically meant a death sentence
- fearing rejection is a self fulfilling prophecy; some people aren't resilient enough and they don't believe that much in themselves, so when they are rejected their imagined and feared low self worth is "confirmed", and that's why they avoid exposing themselves to rejection
Personally, I couldn't care less about being rejected. I'm an auto-reject ahaha, but I noticed lately that I tend to be more careful with the things I say, thinking that I don't want to be misunderstood and instantly dismissed/judged.

cth96190 · Accepted Answer

When I was young I did not fear rejection.
I was disappointed and frustrated by rejection.
I was usually better looking and had much more to offer than the knuckle-dragging shitbag bad boys whom they chose.
Observing the mating behaviour of the teenage and 20-something human female led me to theorise about the bad boy phase and carousel riding long before I read about it on the Internet.
Plenty of lonely post-wall women make moves on me these days, but almost without exception they have been fat or otherwise physically unappealing, insane, or of another race.
I could not be less interested, especially in the former party girls, who would have rejected me when they were 20. Call it spite.
On the rare occasion when I am interested/impressed enough to be motivated to approach a female, she will reject me. That does not disappoint me any more. I expect it. Call it confirmation bias.
I am so lonely and dead inside that most days I want to die, but that is my lot in life and I have to deal with it.

NineBreaker · Accepted Answer

I don't fear rejection; not anymore, and not for a very long time. In fact, I greatly and truly appreciate clear and direct rejection.

AmandaYVR · Answer

I guess it makes people feel unlovable? Well maybe not quite that strong, but unappreciated for sure. As much as some people say opposites attract, most people want to find someone who agrees with them on many things, thinks alike. Choosing each other in the first place is the start of that. It doesn't have to be devastating, but not being chosen hurts.

Obtuse · Answer

I don't. I've gotten over that fear long ago. I even see rejection as a positive thing: a gain not a loss, because it means I can stop wasting my time and energy now that I learned I'm not her type and focus on another one... maybe the one standing next to her. :-D I got so decent at shrugging off rejections humorously that some of my best friends are ones who rejected me, including a "sister" of mine whose wedding I attended last month. I could take it humorously to the point where the girl wasn't scared away after turning me down.

ZackBan · Answer

I recently found that rejection is kinda like diving into a pool.
It looks scary and usually takes a lot of guts to risk the first time but once you do it you realize it's not so bad and then you're diving one jump after the other.
I used to be terrified of being rejected and I wasted SO many opportunities to try talking to a girl. Now I just go for it rejected or not it doesn't matter

ChiTown33 · Answer

It's not really fear anymore as it is power. I'm not going to give women the power of rejecting me anymore, lol.
Under 40 belongs to women.
Over 40 belongs to men.
If a woman want's me she going to have to earn this. I'm fine being single the rest of my life.

DanielAppleton15 · Answer

For me its because I think I will take it personally and think that there is something about me that makes me unattractive and undateable.

I'm aware that you shouldn't take it personally, and I'm trying to just remember that if you get rejected its because they weren't the right person for you anyway.

Also, the fear of rejection plays into the fear that nobody out there feels the same way about me as I do about them and that nobody will want to be with me and build a life with me.

Browneye57 · Answer

I don't. Outcome independence. It's the ultimate freedom to do and say what think is best, without any worry of how it will turn out. You know in your heart of hearts you'll be just fine no matter how it shakes out.
Guys would do well to adopt outcome independence.

RichardCranium6201 · Answer

I'm not sure if most people FEAR rejection... But mostly because it will lower our self esteem. Our confidence drops. We get depressed. And start feeling like we are not worth anything... Every negative personal thought we have in the world. start going through our heads... Worthless. Ugly. To skinny. To fat... Etc... It's a rough world... And we need to be strong if we're in the dating scene... It don't matter what the next person thinks... Please remember that. Just know who you are, wear it with confidence, and you won't have any problems getting people to notice you. When ur going out, where ever u go, walk in to that building like u own the place... Believe me. People notice.

Avicenna · Answer

I don't fear it at all. If you aren't getting rejected, you aren't challenging yourself.

IU_092 · Answer

I don't fear rejection. I believe its better to confess and get it over with. I wouldn't want to keep on crushing on a guy who has no interest in me. I'd rather move on and be with someone who feels the same way about me. Rejection happens all the time, our world is filled with many amazing people who you might find compatible.

ZekeLaFreq · Answer

If it's major, my already-low self-esteem plunges to verge of despair.

MistiGal · Answer

Its a natural feeling to not want to be rejected, the rejection can come in many forms, from job interviews, promotion, sales, to love and friendship. Overcoming the rejection can be hard because we get so disappointed. No one likes to feel disappointed but it helps to view things in a positive light.

Silent_Bob · Answer

It's not so much the rejection itself, it's more like:

1. I see a group of five women. Maybe one of them likes me. Can't tell which one, so I take a leap of faith. It was the wrong one, and she says no. I have now (probably) burned up any currency I have had with the one that did like me.
2. Being widowed makes it a little bit worse: Each rejection is kindof like a PTSD trigger, reminding me what I've lost and how hard it is to effectively start over from the very beginning.

SirRexington · Answer

After it happening so many times and after so long without a person who claims to care for me, yes. It it frightening. I worry sometimes that my loneliness will remain.

Lman3000 · Answer

I never feared it, I just lost my will to try and put effort, personally I'd prefer if someone just flat out said they don't like but hell I'm not worthy of even that I'm just undesirable I guess you can say I'm just an emotionless husk with nothing but blank personality and expression

HOAAH · Answer

I don't know exactly, but I do know it makes me feel sad. I don't like feeling sad.

katjmj · Answer

I used to be scared because it hit my essentially nonexistent self-confidence everytime. But I've learned to see rejection as redirection and it's made me thankful instead.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it lowers my self-esteem. I try not to take rejection too personal, but it's difficult not to

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the type of rejection I get, if it's someone I rarely know that Im like say trying to date, wouldn't mind much, but if it's someone that I have been knowing for a long time or Im close with, of course it would make me sad leading to getting a heartache and the chances of no longer being around the person anymore as a friend

Meropatrick · Answer

I dont fear rejection. I just feel embarrassed for a moment. But then i move on

bente2 · Answer

I don’t. Rejection is just a part of life. If you fear it, you will never get anywhere. Growth is not obtained within your comfort zone.

eddrico · Answer

Because it hurts Because its humiliating Because after you being rejected things turn awkward I'm sure there's more reasons

_gigi18 · Answer

It's a sign of failure its embarrassing

answerseeker127 · Answer

I'm just tired of not being good enough for people

Bman4907 · Answer

It's the whole act of putting yourself out there and someone just saying, "eh, not worth my time" that killed me the last time. granted she wasn't for me, but it still stung at that point in time.

BestUserName100 · Answer

Because I know I don't have things in place and can't handle that blow right now.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes i do fear rejection

Will23v · Answer

Having no success i sex or dating makes me unconfident and it makes me anticipate rejection, I think rejection is certain and that lowers my confidence even more to the point where I dont approach.

legalboxers · Answer

To be honest, Im use to rejection, sad to say. But its a learning experience with the number of rejections. As the "chosen one" says.. its all a numbers game

Prof_Don · Answer

Being told “no”, despite putting out your best effort, is demoralizing to some people.

Y2KxD · Answer

I don't, knot knowing the answer is worse to me, I'd rather be rejected than not ask and it have been a yes if I did. You only got one life, live it to the fullest, and don't fear things that can't harm you.

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

I don't fear rejection... No one rejects me when it comes down to it... Everyone loves me in one way... Or another

Ianto · Answer

Why fear it? It is unfortunate sometimes. But I can't help it if some people have no taste, and poor discrimination.

DonCachondo · Answer

Not afraid of it... more like frustrated by it lol it's such a buzzkill and you can't do anything about it after it's out in the open >.<

padreflint · Answer

I don't fear rejection, I don't like it when someone treats you like a piece of shit when they reject you though.

Likes2drive · Answer

Probably because it brings down your self-esteem for a while after

Gedaria · Answer

I don't fear it , you have a 50/50 chance, most of it is up to you...

aly34 · Answer

I dont fear rejection. actually no one approaches me.

igiem · Answer

It instils the belief that I will always be single and alone.

damaster · Answer

It'll mess up my confidence and cause some self doubt to come in my mind

Jltakk · Answer

I don't fear it, I except it and accept it when it does happen. Equally as bad.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it’s painful. He or she is starting to think that he/she is worthless, ugly, stupid etc. That nobody will ever love her/him and she/him will die alone surrounded by 40 cats.

FireSky7 · Answer

If there is no mutual interest... you are wasting your time.

ldjhsnsns · Answer

because it emotionally hurts its not like a physical punch but a heat break

1828avaava1828 · Answer

I don’t!! Only the hard. Only the strong.

Creepazoid · Answer

I dont fear it. I just dont like losing!

tartaarsaus · Answer

Self-esteem may take a battering

ℓσσρуу · Answer

I wanna feel accepted

dannytholl123 · Answer

Cause it make me look weak

Ruby3 · Answer

I don't fear it but i don't want to be rejected

pigoat · Answer

Fear and rejection are a part of life

honestGUY45 · Answer

To me, it's embarrassing.

Anonymous · Answer

Because you could get hurt.

Anonymous · Answer

No. People need to view rejection differently.

Silent_Eyes · Answer

Because it can ruin your self esteem

DiscomfortZone · Answer

I actually don't :)

Plitty-Tank · Answer

I don't fear rejection.

VolleyballLover122 · Answer

I don't fear rejection

Slim57 · Answer

Because after many it starts to feel personal

Anonymous · Answer

It ruins your self esteem.

chriscdi · Answer

because lol

Why do you fear REJECTION?

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