Search Results: emotions and sex

This is just a theory of mine since I have never had a formal diagnosis but I have been thinking about this as of late. When I was kid and even until my 20's:

1. I was very introverted and did not socialize easily with most kids
2. I had to be dragged to social events.
3. I was painful shy around women as a teen and even after college.
4. I am often bothered by music that is too loud or noise that disrupts a quiet environment.
5. I tend to be distant with people. At times when I am with people it is like they are 2D in a way. Like I am disconnected from it all.
6. Only recently have I been able to "read" people. When I was younger I could not really get people's emotions. It was also bad when dealing with the opposite sex. In retrospect I had to have someone tell me that their female friend was into me and that they had been flirting for months.
7. I used to have a tendency to take everything literally.
8. I wold spend inordinate amounts of time daydreaming ( I still do today but not as much as when I was a kid)
9. I was a voracious reader when I was young.

There it is. Like I said it is just a theory but who knows. I always wondered why I was a weird kid.

It's been a while there is always a things going on in my mind about being in a relationship and such but then also I understand the fact that I should take it normally , relationship isn't necessary but I crave for it and the sexual desires too. I get genuine feeling sometimes but I seem to be not good with controlling this rollercoaster of emotions. I am also scared of rejection after facing it 5 times. I am fat but is that the only reason. I try to have a conversation but just can't continue for long since I fear they might see me as irrelevant , it may seem I worry a lot but there is a reason. I have never been into a relationship or even too close to any woman and now I want to be friends , alsero do something about my sexual feeling , nothing pervert , it's things like a tight hug , kiss , kiss on forehead , cuddling and more. What should I do? Can someone suggest me anything?