Search Results: engaged girl loves me

Late last year I met the girl of my dreams, we were co-workers, honestly I hardly noticed her because we worked in different departments, but someone mentioned that she had a crush on me, i thought "lol, yeah right", a couple of days later someone told me she was going to ask me out and sure enough she passed me a note with her number asking if i wanted to go to see a movie with her. Of course i said yes. Over the next week we got closer, we texted all day every day, spent our lunches and breaks together, eventually started spending our lunch hour in her car just cuddling and talking. Through the second week things progressed fast (too fast) our cuddling became... more physical, by this time I was smitten, head over heels in love, and I told her so (i know, too soon) and she said she loved me too. Things were going great (I thought), we spent all of our free time together. Then one morning she texted me, and said we needed to break up because she wasn't ready for a serious relationship so soon after her high school sweetheart died (he died a year earlier in an accident), i was crushed, but how can you argue with that? I told her take all the time she needed and I'd be waiting for her.

*here's where it gets worse*

Less than 2 weeks after we broke up she texts me and says she is engaged to a guy she met online (WTF?) and he promised to buy her a car. Life went on, I was miserable, I didn't understand why we broke up (turns out she didn't want to tell me I was being too clingy and it made her uncomfortable). By the end of weeks, online car guy was in jail (drug dealer, illegal possession of a firearm) and she had hooked up with 2 other guys, 2nd one got her pregnant. They tried to make it work, it didn't work.

Now she's 7 months pregnant and about to be a single mother.

Part of me wants to hate her, but i still love her.

Part of me hopes she'll want to try again, but i know that I can't trust her, she'd break my heart again, I'll never be good enough.

What do I do?

I will be turning 24 in less than 2 months, and I have never had an actual girlfriend.

I am 5 feet 6 inches in height, average looking at best, introverted and have Aspergers and anxiety.

My biggest hurdle is my regret for not experiencing young love. I have been intimate with girls in the past, but I never had an actual relationship and the girls I have been intimate with were mostly strangers whom I didn't grow up with or have much of anything in common. The girl I lost my virginity to lived out of state and I only saw her in person on a weekend.

I cannot get over a woman's past relationships, especially ones that she had where both her and the other person were young at the time.

I am wanting to be a woman's very first love. It is difficult getting over anyone whom she loved or had bonds with when she was younger.

I am seeing my friends get married and engaged and I feel left out and alone.