Search Results: swallow

I'm not saying I had the worst childhood in the world, but it wasn't goo either

I don't know who my biological father is, my first stepdad was a drunk who gave me the wrong perspective of the world mostly about women and black men. I was bullied in elementary school and I still deal with the scars. My mother never really helped with my personal problems as a child, she just got mad when I brought it up. I had no real friends, the friends I had in high school stopped inviting me to come after I left school and had fun without me, so I basically shut them out of my life. I watched my brother and sister get abused by their romantic partner and do drugs as a young child. When I was 13 my mother divorced my then stepdad and he took EVERYTHING, left my mother and I homeless for a bit and we were poor from then on, and my 2nd and current stepdad is on disability and doesn't get much.
I look back at my life now and realized that it was a total waste plagued by mental illness, rejection, ostracism and neglect. I never got to go on family vacations, play with the new video games, watch the cool TV shows, go to parties, go to events or any of that. So far my life has been me just waiting and hoping, 21 years of basically nothing. I remember how embarrassing it was going to school and listening to my peers talk about the cool things they got to do and I could only say "oh that's cool", I still remember the douchey kids laughing at me when I said that I did and had nothing. I know it may seem petty and materialistic but I can't seem to let it down. Mental illness basically swallowed me whole.
I'm planning on seeing a psychiatrist to get help so I can live a happy productive life. Can I have fun as an adult to make up for a depressing childhood?

I was 5 miles in my outdoor running when a 74-year-old lady stopped me for help. She wanted me to walk her up a sloppy road. The walk lasted for 11 minutes, during which she said she lived in ——— but moved from the area some years ago because “…with all due respect to me”, she said to me. “It was getting all swallowed by a lot of coloured and black people”, she said. After walking her up to the premises she was going to, I continued with my run while reflecting over whether her reason for moving from a town to another area is racism.

Liar, liar, got your pants on fire
I know you want it, you know you want it too
Hey diddle diddle, when the cat wants to fiddle
The kitten's gotta get in the mood

And they say
“You gotta look before you leap"
And
“We're gonna judge you by the friends you keep"
But you're looking nasty and I'm in too deep
You'll be real happy to be losing sleep

When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
You get so crazy when there's no one around

You got your script from a Cosmo guide
"Fifteen Ways to Find a Lover"
Don't you make me chase you, cause the author lied
You'll get your answers, babe, under the covers

And you say
"I want to wait until I'm really sure"
And
"I want a love to last forever more”
Don’t tell me, girl!
"I've got my pride, I've got my dignity”
Well, you'll swallow everything when you're with me!

When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
You get so crazy when there's no one around

(here kitty kitty)

You got your script from a Cosmo guide
15 ways to find a lover
Don't make me chase you, cause the author lied
You'll get your answers, babe, under the covers
You say
"I want to wait until I'm really sure"
And
"I want a love to last forevermore"
Don't tell me, girl!
"I've got my pride, I've got my dignity
Well, you'll swallow everything when you're with me!