Search Results: getting closure

My exgirlfriend and I broke up a year ago after 3. She got with some other guy whom I hated a month after we split and was moving to another state with him. She cut me off " becasue she wanted to respect him." She blocked me on facebook and IG and deleted all our old pics. I spent my time working out getting a new job and dating other girls trying to get over her, but part of me was still angry. After not talking for about 10 months I wanted to get closure and my things. I wanted to speak to her because I truly didn't know how I fucked up. We talked for too long and even kissed and never got to exchange things. Later I she unblocked me and re added me on IG but I never friended her on facebook. I have been talking to her off and on (sort of arguing.) Recently though she added me on facebook. I was creepin her spotify and saw all the sad music she'd been listening too and her private relationship status. I figured she and her boyfriend were going through somthing, but I didn't speak to her. Suddenly she unfriended me again (no block.) I texted her about a week later asking her if she wanted to meet up ( I knew she was moving soon) and we never got to exchange things.( We'd agreed to meet up again in earlier messages) This time though, she denied it and told me not to text her anymore. I honestly wanted to get some lunch and tell her goodbye ( I guess because she knew I still had feelings for her?) I also think she was showing out for her friends (her friend read our messages.)

RECENTLY THOUGH I saw her on Tinder, so now I know for sure she is either single or cheating.
I just don't get why she would add me when I made it clear that I didn't want to be "just friends with her" and now she's saying "Don't talk to me" She is contradicting herself. I really do miss her, but she is fucking my head up.
I would be willing to forgive her for all the shit she put me through, but at this point, I don't know whether to follow what she said or what my instinct is telli

Long story short: My ex and I were in a long-distance relationship that ended after close-to 4 years. It was a nasty ending, only because the distance got to both of our heads and we both became paranoid of cheating (which she admitted to a couple months after the breakup). We were each other's first loves, and we knew if it wasn't for the distance we could have stayed together forever.

After the breakup, there was a solid year and a half of no-contact with the exception of her sending me a birthday text (which was 3 days late and I never responded to); and I sent her a text months later when I heard her grandfather was sick to say I was sorry to hear about him not doing well (he was a role model and mentor to me). When her birthday rolled around I sent her a birthday text to "repay the favor" and actually hoped she wouldn't respond like I didn't when she texted me, but she did respond and informed me that she was home from college for a semester, and that she wasn't doing very well. It was a short conversation but every three weeks or so leading up to now I get random texts from her, hinting that she would like to grab coffee or lunch and catch up (some actually saying that) but then she dissapears for another three weeks and it never happens. Im hoping that she either shows interest and follows through, but more so that she dissapears for good because I dont want this on my mind anymore.

A couple months after we broke up, I wrote her a letter (mainly for my own closure) just letting her know that I forgive her for what happened, that she meant a lot to me, and how much I learned through the good and bad times about life and myself.

So the questions is, if she ends up dissapearing for good, do I send her this letter, or just let it "lay to rest"? I have no intention of getting back with her, but I also want her to know my current feelings since they hace not changed since I wrote the letter.