Search Results: my best friend gets mad because of my boyfriend

Alright, here it goes, I have a big lesbian crush on my best friend. I told her and she said she likes me back, but when I asked her to be my girlfriend she said she just wants to be friends which I can understand because she hasn't taken on the title of lesbian or bisexual, whatever, like I have. But she told me she doesn't like me any more, but at the same time, gives signals that she likes me. We've kissed before and I felt like I had overdosed on happy pills for the rest of the day (we've also kissed after that) She acts really annoyed at me sometimes because I have low self esteem and seems to get really mad at me for almost anything and for awhile has refused to let me touch her. But I was brave a few days ago and decided to kiss her cheek, she squealed and smiled so I take that as she liked it. Also, even though I was annoying her, she and a few of our friends went to play four square in the parking lot and since there were 5 of us, the person not in a square had to stand in the middle and we'd attack them with the ball. So when it was my turn, she yelled "No one hit her!" pretty angriliy, so no one did despite her being annoyed at me earlier. Then I had a panic attack and she attacked like she didn't care but I had a panic attack a few weeks ago at a party and she held me and let me listen to music and slapped the three guys who had scared me. I asked her if she'd rather me do the V thing with my tongue (She hates it) or kiss her when I want to freak her out. She said she'd rather I kiss her. Sometimes she's very distant and aloof, she doesn't get very close to me and yells at me, then others she'll hug me and be super sweet in the way you'd be to your girlfriend or boyfriend. I'm getting a heck of a lot of mixed signals here, can someone please help?