Search Results: real ex girlfriend

Hi everyone,

New to this whole question thing, so please bear with me. My ex and I broke up two weeks ago. About three days after the breakup, I made the mistake of begging pleading, etc. She said some nasty things to me because of me smothering her, etc. She stated I would have to change. To stop pressuring her to get back together. To stop being the drunk I used to be. To stop being clingy and to stop having anxiety attacks. Well, I started to go no contact so I could give her space and work on myself. I got on anxiety meds, I've been sober two weeks. During my no contact, she comes over to my apt. She says she loves me. We cuddle. We kiss. She stays the night (no sex). She has done this the last week. But when I talk about getting back together, she freaks out. Yelling she is single and is free and can do whatever she wants. I know she is talking to other guys, and most of them just want to sleep with her. She says she knows that's all they want, but they are just "pawns" and she is the "queen". And I need to work on being the "king", but I need to stop with my B. S. and start improving. Also I need to stop with the boyfriend stuff because "We are not dating and I am not your girlfriend" says her. This is right after we went shopping together and I dropped a couple hundred on her for her birthday. I'm a nice guy, so I get it I probably did mess up a lot in here... what do you all think? Should I keep trying, Or is she lying saying she loves me and wants us together just not right now. Is that even real: saying i love you but can't be with you now?

I was wondering because this always has been characteristic of me. For some reason, it really bothers me when I sense that someone has a strong dislike for me (even if that person is no longer a part of my life). I suppose it's because it makes me question myself as a person at certain times.
The real reason why I'm asking this question is because I can sense a lot of anger and hatred out of my ex-girlfriend. Even though I broke up with her, she still assured me that i was always respectful towards her back when we were together. I'm NOT trying to get back together with her, I just can't help but feel hung up on the negative emotions i feel from her.