Search Results: always a cheater

Just curious as to how people look at this topic from their own point of view. I cheated in a relationship that was 4 years running and ended up cheating on the girl whom took my virginity and was basically my first love. I’m not a cheater it’s not in me but this is something that will always cross my mind and just the thought of it makes me angry at myself. I blame no one but myself not even the drugs I was doing. Now I’m sitting here 1 month and a half later alone with nobody to talk to, go out with, buy stuff for, gossip with, watch a movie with, eat food with, go window shopping with and just be with 24/7 I gave all that up by doing what I did and I deeply regret it with all my heart but now knowing me and her will never get back together it’s hard to cope with her being my first of everything and having to start over again but now I have college starting soon and working in a different city from my hometown it’s really lonely and boring. This is something I will never do upon to my next relationship that I end up in but I know the question will come up as to why did we break up and I will have to be honest and say the truth but I know everybody wouldn’t give a chance whatsoever to a person who cheated in a previous relationship. But would you male or female give a person a chance into your life knowing they’ve cheated once before?

I'm seeing a girl who I felt I was compatible with, sweet, kind hearted and had her morals straight. When things are good it's quite good. The flipside has been very hard. To start, she's not that educated but acts like she knows better and refuses to trust what I say is correct or incorrect, argues with me and even googles to prove me wrong, which fails. She is extremely hard headed, stubborn and prideful when it comes to arguments. Like an immature brick wall. She avoids answering my questions a lot when I'm calling her out on her shit or something that I felt was wrong, hurtful, or mean. She never admits when she's wrong. Like things we all know no one would like, she would lie saying she'd be okay with it, just to deflect her guilt. She is insecure, has daddy issues, threatened to commit suicide multiple times even if she has a son, doesn't remember important things I tell her and things we've argued about before, so stubborn to admit when one is wrong and then attacks me claiming I'm a person who always wants to be right, doesn't communicate well, takes things out of context, makes up what she thinks I'm thinking and doesn't believe what I'm actually thinking, so jealous and paranoid that I will run off with some other girl and straight goes into accusation mode and treats a faithful person like he's a cheater when she is a person who is overly friendly and taken as flirtatious (ie. greets random security guard with duck face puckered lips, eyes closed with hand gesture next to her eye like taking a photobooth sticker pic). It feels so unfair and she makes it like everything she does is okay but if I do something it's not or suspicious. Almost everytime she drinks she causes an argument/fight by getting snappy, angry, cussy. I feel so exhausted and drained. I feel like she is bringing the worst out of me. She says she'll change but we have the same fights and feels like she never will. She says she loves me but doesn't change what's destroying us. Is that love?