Search Results: feeling bad when flirting with others

Long story short, I have a crush on someone I've been knowing for a year. I met him online and we weren't exactly close until he started messaging me back in June. He knew about my feelings before then, but at the time, he said that he wasn't looking for romance because of big changes in his life. I took that as a sign that he didn't want romance with me and tried to move on, but ever since June, it's been hard for me to move past my feelings.

Our mutual friends think he and I belong together because of the way we interact on our group chat, and they've been teasing us about it, but as of lately I'm not so sure how he feels.

On the one hand: he flirts with me constantly. Always says that he's definitely planning to meet up with me someday, says he would hug me and actually kiss me when we meet, says he would love to Skype with me, usually initiates conversations with me first, calls me beautiful as if it's a nickname, compliments me all the time, and has even said at one point he would take me to a nice restaurant, implying a date. At first I thought he was just jokingly flirting about the kissing, but he and I had a brief talk about how inexperienced we both are with kissing, and he said that it would be better then, because we could both be bad at it.

On the other hand: he has implied before that we are best friends, and the whole rejection thing that happened a few months prior still sticks to my mind. He has called me babe before, which I thought was a big sign that he liked me, but today he also called one of our mutual friends "babe" too, which made me think that he only calls that to people he's comfortable with.

I'm scared of knowing that he's flirting with me only playfully and not being as meaningful about it as I perceive it. I'm scared of being rejected by him. But should I just go for it anyway? Or should I just try to forget about my feelings and move on?

He was my first everything ( love/lover) and he knows that. i was head over heels over him but i felt he took me for granted and tereated me like he didn't care about me in any way. ( he didn't care about my feelings, safety, life etc) he got otp with other girls in front of me, made me walk home alone at 9 at night after leaving his house ( like im immune to rapists and kidnappers) etc and made me feel used. it wasn't all bad but it seemed like the bad outweighed the good. he made me feel so low and unworthy. like i wasn't important. like i didn't even matter in his world. it always felt like if i left he probably wouldn't even notice. we seen each other today at our homecoming ( We are both freshman in college) and i guess he realized that he fucked up because he tried to flirt with me but i told him this " i dont care about you anymore, im not trying to be mean its just you dont mean anything to me anymore. you 're just like a random ni**a on the streets to me now. When i look at you i dont feel anything. " He asked did i miss him and i told him " Not really, you didn't bring anything positive in my life". Like hoenstly why would i miss something that made me feel like i wasn't unimportant, why would i miss something that made me cry why would i miss something that i felt brung me down on the inside and made me feel sad and rejected all the time? SERIOUSLY who would miss that! How could i miss that? My friends told me he left early and looked very sad nd upset, he told my freind he didn't know i hated him so much. i dont hate him i just dont care about him. its a difference right. ?

So my guy friend comes up to me after we get out of lunch and he put his arms around me and told my other group of friends that we were dating and we held each other and our faces touched for like 5 seconds... honestly I loved that feeling... we always flirt with each other and everyone thinks we're into each other but we definetly aren't... sometimes he acts super into me then the next he acts like he hates me... we walk each other to class, we hug all the time, and we've had sexual conversations... recently I put my arms around him from behind and he held my hand there and it gave me butterflies😅Which I've never gotten... I'm honestly to the point where if we were alone I'd cry tears of joy and make out with him like I want him so bad dude and Im scared he doesn't feel the same😁👀 advice?