Search Results: getting back with someone who cheated

It's been over a year since I've started seeing this man. He is now 40 and I am 39. After a couple of breakups, the last one being in October, we reconciled and he said that the "fog had lifted" and that he truly loved me but hadn't been able to see that before. The "perfect" person was in front of him all this time and it took him this long to see it. OK, that seemed like it was good.

I have trust issues with him and likely stemming back to when he was still on POF and sites like that up until I called him out on it. He went and deleted all profiles in front of me - at his insistence.

It is WRONG but he knows that I did it, I checked the history on his computer. Nothing really there. But while on the internet, I went to log on to FB and he was auto-logged in. I checked the messages which was so wrong on my part. A message from a former girlfriend (or fling) who lives 1000 miles away. They talked about how it would have been nice to have pursued what they had. Turns out he booked a flight for his two daughters and himself to go home (to where this woman is at). He went there for his 40th birthday. They talked about getting together. She said something to the effect, "wouldn't that be cheating?" He said, "ya it is but I couldn't come this far and not see you".

He begged me to go with him but I couldn't take time off work. He texted every single day, several times a day, phoned often etc. I had a feeling he met up with her but don't think anything happened though. When I asked him about this message (before he left), he said he didn't know what she meant by cheating...

When he got home, he brought several gifts for me and the following Monday, he bought me a car. Yes, I needed one but really...a bit extreme. He said it was for my 40th in June. When I told him that I could never thank him enough, he said, "just be secure in our relationship". He said he would never take another holiday without me ever again.

We see each other just about every day and definitely talk every day. He tells me he loves me, talks about adding on to the house. Then he'll drop it for a while. Then he's "on" again but tonight he was somewhat off.

What the h*ll is wrong with me? Why do I still get that nagging feeling...? Someone please help me get past this nagging insecurity. I fee like I am plan B until someone better comes along..

Thank you.