Search Results: age at first marriage

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and have lived together for about seven months. Six years ago, he and his ex-wife divorced after twelve years of marriage. He told me that he didn't want the divorce, but she did because she didn't like how he works a lot (he's a doctor) and he didn't want to have children. She's now re-married (guess who was the best man) and living in Texas (my boyfriend and I live in Massachusetts). Her and her new husband have two children and one on the way (guess who's the godfather). He has two kids of his own (twins) from a relationship after her and before me. Although she and my boyfriend are divorced, I'm uncomfortable because she and my boyfriend are still very good friends.

Here are my reasons:
- When I first started dating him, we admitted to each other that we both have an ex we think we'll always care about (although several months into our relationship he told me that he understands why it never worked out for him and his ex-wife because he never would have met me if it had)
- He says she'll always be a close friend.
- He attended his ex-wife's wedding (this was a few years before I met him, but I'm still uncomfortable by it because who does that?)
- She visits Massachusetts once or twice a year to visit friends, and whenever she's here, she always stops by to see my boyfriend. She even greets him with a kiss!
- I get a vibe that she doesn't like me. She seems condescending towards me. My boyfriend says she's just wary about the age difference, but I feel like she should have no opinion because they're divorced! I did meet her husband (and their kids) and he seems very nice.
- He travels with her when they go overseas for charity work and they stay in the same hotel room! (It happened once since I started dating him, but he told me they'd done it before. We had an argument over it and he said they'd stay in separate hotel rooms from now on, but it still bothers me that he even did it!)

I know this question has been asked many times, but I want current opinions and fresh perspective from some of the younger users on here too.

in my opinion, marriage has become a business, a way to cheat the system, and an excuse to commit a battery of immoral acts. Now before I go further, let me first state that although I am a modern Pagan, I still believe that a married couple should honor certain morals and values.

I do not believe sex out of wedlock is wrong IF you are both of consenting age. I believe the term cheating is only applicable when your are hiding it from your partner and/or do not have their permission to sleep with a certain individual.

In most cases, I do not agree with getting married simply because you're pregnant. You don't have to be married to be in the child's life, or to help cover the cost of care. It's just not worth risking raising the child in a negative environment if the couple is a bad match.

I believe anyone who wants to marry should be allowed.

But back to my main points. Marriage is used every day to cheat the government out of money, spouses will use the M card to gain access to the SO's private information, and there are far too many people out their cheating simply because they are afraid of a messy divorce battle. Anit-Gay couples will use their marriage to justify hate crimes and violence against homosexuals, and there are far too many children suffering with unfit parents, simply because the state sees that two parents live in the home.

A ring will NOT guarantee loyalty or or fidelity. A piece of paper will not ensure that your spouse will take care of you financially, but many still assume this.

I'm a modern woman, and I feel that in this age, both parties should be capable of supporting themselves in the event of job loss or separation. With that notion, I really don't see much point in a ring, beyond employee benefits that extend to the spouse.

How do you guys feel?

For those of you who still believe in marriage as an institution - more so the "till death do we part" part of it and the being faithful, I have a question.

What about if your partner cheated?

I know, most people would say, "Well, my spouse would never cheat" but you know what? It happens.

So I'm curious. This is a question I was asking myself today and I find myself struggling.

I always have the thought that I want my first marriage to be my only marriage and I want it to last well into old age until we're literally parted by death. But then I got to thinking that I simply could NOT stay with him if he cheated. No way no how.

So you can see how the two thought processes are conflicting.

It's like the vows should be, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do us part unless you cheat on me 'cause then this promise is null and void."

The above "vow" is not at all a good one. So it's a good think I'm no where near getting married lol.

Interested to hear your thoughts about this.