Search Results: arguing with mother

Personally this is something I wouldn't ever tolerate from a husband, not even once and definitely not with kids involved. I think it's even worse staying for the kids because they will grow up thinking that's a normal method to solve arguments, that it's ok to lash out if your partner stresses you out and it can impact their overall views on a relationship/marriage.


I've seen and heard how it used to get horrible whenever my parents argued. In the beginning, my mother would only get verbal (a combination of nonstoppable insults, screamings and tantrums) but my father would always be the first one to get physical too fast. Many years later and it became mutual, she would hit back at some point and then a couple few times it was just her getting physical.

They used to get over it within days (then pretend nothing happened for my sake) and 1-3 months later, it would happened again and again. Currently, they don't love each other at all but decided to still stay mainly for the sake of my teenaged brother.
Given that in mind, do you think a marriage can survive 1 single episode of violence after an argument turns badly? If it were just 1 and not multiple times like my parents' marriage.

Present-day, my boyfriend gets along with my mother but they had issues in the past. Things she did to him 10 years ago (she meddled too much in my relationship):

- Argue with him right on my 20th b-day and making him buy things that day as a proof that he loves me
- Told him ''oh my daughter can find someone better than you''
- Badmouthing him endlessly to her closed friend (who is already dead) and a couple of my family members along with gossiping about him on the phone loud enough for me to hear
- Bragging to others about the day she made him cried, how she put him in his place (she never did... he was crying out of anger because of how he was being treated... I would cry too) and for the longest thinking that was funny and how it's weak for a man to cry
- Always assuming he must be lying and jumping to conclusions too fast
- Keep insisting that he's gotta be only after sex for me
- Once issued a fake apology on the phone as a way of trying to make peace but he could tell she wasn't really sorry at all

It took him till 2012 or 2013 or so to actually forgive her. He once explained he wanted to let go of the anger and also because she's my mother. I was also long forgiven for not doing anything back then, for not mediating the situation, for not being strong enough to defend my relationship.