Search Results: dont want to be alone

my boyfriend and I met back in my home country, and then my dad moved abroad for a better job, and of course, me and my mom came with him.

we moved here two years ago, and since then I've only been seeing my boyfriend during summer. the rest of the year my boyfriend and I dont see each other. plane tickets are too expensive and we're thousands of miles away. all we do while waiting to see each other is save money since we're both still studying.

anyway, point is I've decided to go home (permanently- study there and all). the rest of my closest family are living there so I really wouldn't be alone at all. technically I can come back here abroad years from now, maybe after I graduate.

I felt excited to share the news to my boyfriend, but it didn't seem he was excited at all. he just kept saying its all up to me, and when I told him the possible date that im going home he seemed indifferent. I dont know, I guess I just expected more from his reaction since this is pretty much a big deal for me. my friends were a lot more happy to know the news.

could it be that he's upset because I've decided this on my own? i didn't really plan this all along. I talked to my parents and they're both fine with it as long as it is what I really want to do.
I was 101% positive he isn't cheating on me lol, but now that I think about it maybe he is. thats why he's dang worried im coming home lmao like just leave my ass if you cheating jk I dont know am I stupid for expecting more reaction from him?

I need advice, please.

I've been living here in the US for three years, im from an Asian country. (graduating high school student now). I moved here because of my mom, together with my 2 other siblings. my mom and dad are separated, so we all had to leave my dad behind (which breaks my heart every time I miss him by the way, and I always do).

I did see my dad last 2018. I went home for only a month.
ever since I've been here I've never really been myself. I thought I just had to give it time, and thought maybe if I made friends it will make things better, but it didn't. Everything is actually good, I think, thats why I dont know why I feel this way.

Im just gonna make this shorter, my mom and I had a big fight yesterday. She said some things out of anger. One of those things is her telling me it would be better for everybody if I went home to our home country. She knows how happier I'd be if I was home. also since I've been here I've always been easily irritated, upset, basically a pain in her life and my siblings.

I never planned on going home until she said it, but once she did, I realized then and there that it really is what I want- but I dont know if it is what's best for me. I thought once I moved here I will be here for good. I mean, its America, some people from other countries work hard to get to live here. I talked to my dad about it, he said he's always there for me if I ever decide to go home. also my boyfriend lives back in my home country too

so pros are- my dad won't be alone anymore, I would no longer be in an ldr, I would be happier, I would get to see my closest and oldest friends. (I will continue studying there)

cons- I'll leave my mom behind, I might be ruining my future and miss a lot of opportunities.

pros outweigh the cons, but I still dont know what to fucking do. a part of me knows its best to stay, but a part of me also knows I will never be contented.
If i ever decide to go home I can come back here in the country later in time