Search Results: noticing appearances

This question was actually posed by one of my 7th graders while reading an article about societal changes.

It talked about male and female standards and how they've changed since the 1930's from WWII, the Cold War, and the 80's so that women can do more things to provide for themselves that were typically only for men. It didn't mention anything else on the subject and was literally two paragraphs from a two page article, but I had a girl ask if that's the reason why some guys don't put any effort into relationships anymore.

I asked why she thought that and she said that boys don't seem too interested in doing any work in relationships anymore. She has two older sisters and an older brother. Her sisters pay for themselves on dates and approached their boyfriends. One of the guys is not employed and lives with her sister (I think one sister is 23 and the other is 17). And her brother never takes his girlfriend on dates. She comes over to their house (brother is 19). But she hears her brother talk about how his girlfriend should lose weight or put more effort into her appearance before he moves on.

After she made this statement, most of the other kids (including males) in the class said they noticed similar things with their siblings, cousins, uncles/aunts, and even parents. The boyfriend/husband may work but they don't do anything else. They come home, eat, and sleep. But they said they noticed the girlfriend/wife in the relationship works, cooks, cleans, gets them ready for school, manages the bills, etc. and still puts time, effort, and money into their appearance.

I told them it varies by circumstance.

Not all the kids in the class are originally from this area. Some are from other states and cities but they're all Caucasian (if that matters to anyone). One just got here last week.

So... what do you think? Is the fight for gender equality allowing men to become lazier? And why?

Back story: Almost year ago, when I had turned 24, I received surgery on my septum and columella for breathing issues, and as a result, my nose appears shorter in the front. It's not a massive change at all, but did end up improving my appearance as a plus. Some haven't noticed, while others have complimented me. No big deal, and I have no issue explaining to anyone what this procedure was all about.

So, my friend and I aren't close but she invited me to her birthday dinner last week and since I hadn't seen her for so long, I thought it would be nice to attend. As expected, all the guests (about 10) were girls I didn't know (her friends). It was a quiet environment. Suddenly in the middle of dinner, in front of everyone, she said "okay, I've been wondering this for a while -did you get a nose job?" All of the girls turned to stare at me, I mean they didn't even know me so who knows what they thought (my close friends all knew my health history). I felt super embarrassed, and even though I explained a bit about the surgery, it felt like it didn't matter since the term "nose job" was glaring. I have no idea why she announced it like that.

I may be overthinking it, but I thought it was rude that she didn't privately ask me what had been going on. I would've explained to her later anyway, just not in front of a bunch of girls I didn't know. She didn't really compliment me either or anything of the sort, it was just an uncomfortable time for me :( ... Do you think she was jealous of me? My sisters said yes, but I just can't "believe" it I guess. Thank you.