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Crushing on a guy for a couple of months. We work outdoors across the street from each other (not the same workplace). With other people he is an imposing and dominant person. It's a crazy high stress environment and sometimes people will approach him angrily and may even want to fight and he's NEVER scared. He even broke up a fight between two dudes wrestling them apart at the same time single-handedly.

Awhile back after some eye contact and mutual attention-seeking, I casually approached him. He was super-fidgety, but he as super happy. Looked down most of the time but was asking me about myself. He's younger than me possibly 10+ years younger.

Fast forward and everything has gotten AWKWARD. His friends stare. He has two on "is she looking at me watch" and another one who I talk to obviously ships us. He seems shy but has made prolonged eye contact and smiled. Blushing too like bright red. So I tried to speak with him again and he freaked out and ran. His friend sort of apologized for him since I was ignoring him. He made himself scarce for awhile but was steal hiding stealing glances.

Now he's back low-key passing by, etc.

Anyway, yesterday he was no shame staring me down but serious face. I reciprocated smiled and he started blushing and saying something to his friend then when I looked again he was on his phone avoiding eye contact.

I mean real wrestling, not the WWE shit.

💯 hypothetical. I can relate to and empathize with the character going through an impossible task of wrestling their philosophical conscience in an untenable circumstance, but this is by no means autobiographical.

Also bit dark ~ So trigger warning ⛔️

Here is the situation:

This person is taken against their will to confinement in an unfamiliar location. They are forbidden contact with outside works. So no hope of any real aid.

They are by force given medicine for “their own good”. This medication does not help them rather makes them violently ill and gradually begins to destroy Their ability to think. They are convinced if they continue they may be lost forever".

Alternatively, If they refuse they are beaten mercilessly... It is apparent, if continued they will perish.

Both scenarios are dehumanizing and finding no redeeming feature anywhere can only size it up as an outrageous attack on their conscience, to which they are of course, morally apposed.

There is nothing redeeming to “believe” in. No obvious case of weighing one evil against another. Intellectually, Sorting out a slightly better outcome is virtually impossible as well. They don’t believe in lesser of two evils and in any case they are rather on par 🔜

Submitting to a course of treatment that is destructive. Mind body and soul. Or to submit to violent heatings which is equally destructive.

The question they find they are confronted with being that as far as they can see, all options and foreseeable outcomes are undeniably miserable, what is the “righteous” morally upright thing to do?

(Understandably that may not be how you would look at it... This person is seeking dignity and to be at peace with their conscience as they can not seem to be in any other way in this situation)

A) Refuse the meds, fight the beating, and go out as a martyr.

B) Take the meds lose their mind.

C) Other.