Search Results: 20 pounds

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 3 years. But here's the problem, I've had anorexia since I was 15. I'm now 21. At 15 I never liked my body image cuz I was constantly told that I was fat, overweight, should lose weight. Next to know, I started starving myself 24/7. By 15, I used to weigh around 123-ish pounds. By the time I was 19, I weighed a total of 40kg (about 89 pounds rounding). My weight has gone back up and down after many visits to the hospital to get force fed. No I'm not proud of it. At 20, I got a bit better but never fully recovered. It's still like this. I'll eat and be fine, then could be a week and I'm already considering calories, weight, body size, etc. I don't think my boyfriend understands that dealing with such a harmful and difficult E. D. can be such a hard thing to get through cuz it's essentially an addiction to weight loss and a thin body from psychological, emotional, and mental issues. Yes I'm aware what I'm doing is absolutely wrong in every sort of way. But my boyfriend always teases me in what he calls a playful way, but what I call an offensive way. I told him this and he got angry. He thinks it's so simple to put food in your mouth and eat when in reality of an anorexia, it's not since that's the fear. Plus, he's known the entire time that I've had an eating disorder for almost 7 years (turning 22 very soon), and he still doesn't understand. Maybe it's just a guy thing, I don't know. But please tell me who's being wrong. Me cuz I have an E. D., or him cuz he's failing to understand anorexia mentally, emotionally, physically, and cognitively. Or even the both of us.

im not wanting to receive any hate because anorexia is a serious health condition that affects many at such young ages today. I know my wrongs, but if you haven't lived with anorexia before, please don't hate on me cuz it's truly a difficult struggle for me from my past. Yes I'm in therapy to get help cuz it's driving me insane. I don't talk to my parents about it cuz they only make it worse