Search Results: kissing an ex

For example. In Grade 11 of High School. My friend Laura, who was an international student from Columbia, sent me a text message saying "There's something I need to tell you, but I'm kinda scared to do it." I still hadn't realized what she meant at that moment since I was extremely dense but I kinda figured it out at 1am, when she turned me around to face her on the sofa and told it to my face: "I love you".

That's when she gave me my first kiss and I realized that I had been holding back my feelings out of a fear that she would tell me we were only friends. Laura, unfortunately for me I suppose, ended up back with her ex the next week, and eventually with a close friend of mine-- a decision I supported because I believed he could make her happy. Which seems to have been the right one as they just passed their 2 year anniversary and are happily in love.

Although-- back onto topic, I wonder still, since she took the lead in that situation, whether I should try not to read into things too much and start presuming things BEFORE someone lays out to me their feelings loud and clear. Like even in the less incognito cases such as: if a girl finds reasons to kiss my cheek a lot, or makes flirty jokes at me about joining her in the shower over text, or goes straight to me when she gets drunk to try to kiss me, they can be acting friendly or romantic, but it feels rude to assume they like me before they expressly say it.

So Really I guess I'm asking, do you think I should take things at face value and not read for hidden meanings and watch body language too carefully to understand how a girl I like feels toward me? Or should I be reading into everything extra hard in order to make an "educated guess" of sorts, since people still say "Men need to make the first move to seem competent."?

So I turned 18 fairly resonantly and never had a real relationship even though I really wanted one for SO SO LONG. I’m shy and introverted though and only have a few close friends and that’s because of social anxiety due to severe bullying back when I was younger and never fitting in with others at school. Anyway at this point I’d give absolutely anything just to have a pretty girl to wrap her in my arms, snuggle with, talk to about my day, kiss her, have an intercourse with her (if she’s comfortable with it of course) etc. People say I have so much love and empathy in my heart waiting to be passed on to others but at the present moment only people I can think of giving it to are pretty girls as they are my #1 Priority and I’d do anything I can to make a girl feel loved but if I find her and the intensity is released on only focusing on girls then yes I’ll give it to other people too. The thought of so many other people YOUNGER than me being able to go a lot farther in terms of being sexually active and stuff makes me so depressed, feel so low and want to self harm. Sometimes I think of giving myself a 3rd degree burn (please don’t judge) because I feel an urge too. Haven’t gone that far yet and yes I know I’ll need skin graphs if I do it. (Not only dating I also have a couple bad phobias too and yes I have been seeing a therapist).

Anyway bottom line is that I wanted to ask if it was normal for someone my age in my position (never having a girlfriend once and really wanting one) to be so girl crazy where all he ever thinks of is wrapping a girl in his arms, will do absolutely anything for one and gets so depressed thinking of others having it especially those who don’t deserve it. Ex. Those who just want sex.