Search Results: relationship trust issues feelings

After 14 months of a turbulent relationship with my partner who admits he is not good with relationships of any sort (quite antisocial), can be rude and unaware of healthy boundaries, but he is trying so hard to be better at all of the above and loves me very much and it is mutual. Both of us realize we are out of options when it comes to being together and having a normal and stable relationship, because we have tried different things to help the relationship to go the right way, end up at another roadblock. I don't want to leave him as I hope we will pull through one day soon, but I have been let down so many times and with important things like my safety, health, financial stability, and my trust in him as a reliable and honest partner. Forgiving him and trying to move on doesn't do us a great deal of favor. Trying to address things with him sometimes ends up being called it "bitching and moaning", which makes me want just to keep my mouth shut and get on with things as they are. When take time to come up with a constructive way to speak with him about it he peaks up and tries to address it himself without realizing that I might not always be ready to talk. This also upsets him. if I am not ready to communicate I can say something unintentionally that would upset him as well (he is sensitive one and takes things too close to heart). Hence I try to talk less about what is on my mind until I am clear what exactly that is so I can tell him in a constructive way. During our fights the truth comes out in the most ridiculous way through shouting it out and bringing up the past issues, and overreacting. When he gets aggressive police gets called in, he has been asked to go twice. Fighting drains both of us, and we both strong headed. I often have suicidal thoughts during our fights, and every time say to my self this is the last time. Few days/couple of weeks he is back into my life, because he loves me and hopes for the best with us and so do I. Thank you all.

We live 7000 miles away (I'm in Asia and my boyfriend lives in Europe). I have been in this so called relationship for 1.5 years, we both have visited each other in each our countries and we always plan ahead when is the next visit.

But my main problem here is up to this point I do not believe in long distance relationships and I have trust issues. I kept going because my boyfriend is a genuinely nice person and he's willing to do anything to make it work and for us to be together in the future, which is why I want to believe that this will work. But there will always be a part of me that keeps on saying it will all end one day. Furthermore, knowing or having heard of all these people whom had been unfaithful to their partners, whether they live near or far, (I have also accidentally been the side chick a few times), I don't believe that there are men out there who are completely faithful to their partners. Not to mention the first time we met he was still hung up on his ex girlfriend, whom he sometimes still sees since they are in the same circle of friends.

These had been the biggest issues between us and I have tried to break up for these reasons several times. I always ask him if he had ever cheated on me or if he ever had any attraction for someone else. I've also accused him of still having feelings for his ex girlfriend. He kept telling me he had never done or felt such thing. As far as I know he had never lied to me and he had never mistreated me.
I know I might be insecure but I really cannot ignore these thoughts of him being unfaithful.

I really don't know what to do. I need some insights!