Search Results: being a rebound

A backup boyfriend is a male who is stuck somewhere between the boyfriend and friend status. A girl sees potential in him being a boyfriend but he doesn't check off all the things on her physical attraction list for a mate and so she deems him just a friend for the time being while she is still looking.

Usually a backup boyfriend sometimes plays boyfriend duty while a girl is single and even when she is in a relationship; if her current boyfriend is slacking off. The backup boyfriend can get elevated to boyfriend status under following conditions:

1. Rebound guy after a girl just came out of a breakup
2. If a girl just got dumped and feels really shitty about herself
3. If a girl is feeling old and past her prime and is still single.

The girl in question usually always knows that the backup boyfriend had feelings for her or he actually did confess feelings for her at one point.

Guy's question: Do you suspect you are the backup boyfriend for some girl you are currently friends with?

Chasing women is a waste in this day and age as you basically place yourself in a position of lower value even if she does give you a chance because you had to come to her. In fact one can make a point if a woman really does want you their will be no chase. I've seen it all before where guys would work weeks, months, maybe even years trying to impress and win a girl over who couldn't really give a fuck about him and would only give him a chance when she gets desperate or needs a backup man/rebound guy after coming out of a breakup.
The same guy whose impressing a girl and trying to win her over. There is a guy who is probably only reply with 3 or 4 words, sometimes single word to this same girl and she's chasing him like crazy and giving him heart shape likes on his FB pics.

Chasing women is pointless and stupid. Focus on your life, build yourself up to a point where women would want to come to you. But this leads to another problem. The quality of women coming to you might not be good quality. Many could be gold diggers, opportunistic women who just want a piece of your hardwork. For a man who has risen to high status male level, women on his level still want to play the upper hand game where men (even on his level) must come to them.

And if you didn't raise your value high enough you might find yourself single for a long time get desperate and start chasing again.

" I was single and didn't chase women for a while, because I though the way you think. After almost 7 years of NOT GETTING ANYTHING, I began to actively look for women. It took me two months to get a girlfriend. After that one, lesson learned, took me another month and a half finding the next girlfriend."
Again putting you back in a position where you give women position of power by being perceived as more valuable and might even be settling for lower quality of stock of girls that you otherwise would of never settle for when you were younger.

So this begs the question chase or not to chase?

Ok so my girlfriend is my friends ex. I know it's not a nice thing for me to do, to go out with his ex, but I asked him before and he said he was cool with it but I still waited some time. Then when he got a new girlfriend I assumed he'd completely moved on and that he would be fine so I asked her out and she said yes.

Now, three months down the line we're still going out and both really happy, he's still going out with his new girlfriend, not quite as happy. And out if nowhere he starts having a go at me, saying how I'm such a dick for doing this and saying she's just on the rebound and doesn't actually like me and loads of negative stuff about me. He got super mad (all through Facebook) and when he finished I tried to talk to him maturely but he was having none of it. So then a few days later I wake up to a long message from him saying I'm a dick, so I give up on him and block him... we used to be best friends, but now we don't talk, I know I'm in the wrong, but I think he's over reacting. Do you agree?