Search Results: we are not in an official relationship

Please take all into consideration...

Ok, so I met him almost 2 years ago. We met online and clicked from the beginning. However, due to our circumstances & crazy amount of distance we haven't been able to meet until now.

About 8 months into talking, I felt like I was investing a lot of time & emotions into him so I didn't want him talking to other people. I was completely driven by my emotions and asked for us to be in a relationship even though we hadn't even met yet. I understand that from an objective point of view that seems dumb and illogical to be committed to someone you haven't even met and looking back, I wish I didn't do that. He also made it very clear that he wasn't ready for a relationship but I pushed it anyways (again I know that's my fault).

But soon after him agreeing to the relationship I became suspicious if he was actually being faithful or not. And about 7 months into us being "official" I found out he had about 3 one night stands over the course of us dating.

We've talked about it & there was nothing emotional. He even showed me the conversations between him and these people and it was clear that it was only sexually driven. Still, i felt hurt. And if this was a normal relationship or less complex situation I would've left immediately. But I basically gave him an ultimatum - either a relationship or stop talking which now I realize was wrong and I have not been very understanding in the past.. not someone he could feel comfortable being honest to. I'm not blaming myself for him cheating but it would be a lie to say my past actions didn't contribute to him being so dishonest.

Overall, he's been amazing to me.. always there for me. And there's so much of the relationship I don't want to lose. So I'm stuck between leaving and meeting him then giving another chance. He's done everything from giving me his passwords to answering my questions to anything to make me feel more comfortable. I'm conflicted. Please help