Search Results: get told i'm nothing

i definetely feel like i think about the future a lot, but sometimes i feel like it gets in the way of things i want to do now, and I don't know which part of myself to listen. for instance, i have a lot of goals and things i want to accomplish, the biggest being having a family and raising kids and being able to support them. as a result, i try really hard in school because i want to get into a good college to get a good job. i also try to stay out of trouble so that i dont ruin my chances of a good future. i also avoid relationships because i dont want a guy to get in the way of my set plans for the future.

but at the same time, a little part of me wants to experience hs and just the present in general. im so focused on good grades that i rarely go out and do anything with friends. it also stresses me out a ton and is simply no fun. likewise, i also want a boyfriend. i may have a shot at a relationship rn, but the future-oriented part of me tells me to forget about him! that he's only gonna get in the way of schoolwork, the chances of you even marrying him are slim, so he'll just be a heartbreak and a waste of time, plus its unlikely we will both go to the same college etc etc etc. i just dont know what to do.

if i forget about my future and focus on what makes me happy now, i may regret that in the future if i mess things up, but if i only focus on the future, i might regret that i did nothing fun in my younger years