Search Results: immaturity

Thank you in advance for reading this detailed description.

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Countless times on this site I have encountered questions about relationships on this site, about how the asker and their boyfriend or girlfriend are "on a break".

Usually it's some poorly planned (or not at all planned) idea of seeing other people while stringing along the boyfriend or girlfriend to "reel in" if you miss him/her too much, and/or can't find someone else.

"Breaks" that are planned to be no contact for a few days, but still 100% monogamous to one another, imo are warranted, cauz those are fully planned and understood between each other.

It's the unplanned ones that I truly have a problem with.

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Frankly, I believe that "breaks" are immature bullsh*t, and that anyone worth taking seriously wouldn't do something so immature.

I called "breaks" (in a relationship as described above) immature because:

1) Instead of being with each other and working out the problems/issues, you are "running away" from the problems/issues. Discuss your problems like mature people and either resolve the issue, or end the relationship COMPLETELY on the spot.

2) One, or both, ppl, are keeping each other "on a string", so one, or both, can play the field and have the other person as an insurance policy to fall back on. What immature bullsh*t.

3) The terms of the "break" are usually not well discussed, thus leading to miscommunication:

*are we able to meet new ppl, and contact them, during our break?

*are we able to go on dates with other people during our break?

*are we able to kiss / cuddle / "spoon" with other people during our break?

*are we able to be sexual with other people during our break?

4) The BIGGEST problem an un-discussed "break" imo, is the emotional toll that the miscommunication has on both parties.

Ex.

Person1 falsely thinks the other is seeing someone else through "Facebook snooping", doesn't talk to Person2 about what he/she thinks...Person1 has a ONS and starts seeing someone new out of anger/vengeance/heartbreak from the false acusation.

Person2 was NOT seeing someone new, hears about Person1 having a ONS with someone, feels hurt, gets very depressed, starts spreading vicious statements about Person1, ruining Person1's reputation, and Person1 hates Person2, who he/she used to love.

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All that could've been prevented by ultimately staying totally monogamous or breaking up completely.

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Do you agree or disagree with my stance on "taking a break" in a relationship as a sign of immaturity?

Vote and reply as much as you like, using examples of yourself or others if you choose.

Thanks for reading my rant, and I may write an article about this. :)