Search Results: most random thing you ever did

So this is not to be taken as a literal thing, it's just something funny I came across and added to; feel free to add to it or make things you hate about men or whatever you want with it.

1. The Ever Prevailing Favor

So Friday my girl made us dinner, now I normally cook so when she made me dinner I was really happy about it and thanked her and all that fun stuff. About 6 weeks go by, I've cooked most of this time and anything she cooked she cooked for herself solely; so I call her up one night and ( a Thursday ) and ask her to throw in a frozen pizza, not to cook me a gourmet meal or anything, just to turn on the oven and throw in a pizza; she says "I'm not your slave! I cooked for you already!" and then goes on to explain how she is going out with her girls. She was dead serious. I got home and I made the pizza myself; ironically she comes back about an hour later and helps herself to half because clearly she, just by virtue of living there, deserved it.

2. "Clean up your sh*t!"

Have you ever thought to yourself "Bitch, you OWN all this, why don't you ever pick it up?!" then decided to just pick it up anyway? Well that's fine and normal, you scratch my back, I scratch yours, but I am a man of little material need thus little material possession; this means that I don't have cascades of shoes or clothing or random assorted junk. So what's that mean? Well I'll tell you what it means, it means that even though I gently ask her to clean something she left around up ( like old dishes that ... you know ... are growing something ) she goes into a "YOU DON'T CLEAN!" fit and points out the one, and yes literally one, scrap of paper on my freshly vacuumed floor. It doesn't end there; I have one pair or shoes, she has twenty, if I trip over her shoes she says "Well I tripped over yours!", and yes you did, 4 months ago, when I took them off in a hurry because I had to go to the bathroom. This compares to me tripping over yours, nowhere near the door, on a weekly basis. Did I mention the mold covered food is being compared to the occasional [ once every few weeks ] dish in my room, the cleaned of food clearly-not-rotting dish? Oh, and if she does the dishes one day that too gets held against me as if she's gone out and cleaned the gutters and managed the backyard's 3 acres with her bare hands and no tools whatsoever.

3. You but not Me!

My favorite thing about women is the whole "You need to change" bit where you can, for no reason whatsoever, be expected to take any level of criticism at any given time because she feels like it but the moment you tell her "That's not nice" there's a cascade of tears or a temper tantrum awaiting you. She berates you in front of your best friends because she's been with you for years and feels that entitlement; you tell her before total strangers who don't care and won't ever see her again respectfully and she loses all control. Your flaws are many, hers are few, and anything she needs to change she'll find before you.