Search Results: relationship insecurity

My brother in law is a great guy but has always dealt with insecurity...

He's 5'10

He's really fit and I've always kind of been jealous of that the

Has a full time job. He's making an effort to gain new skills at work, but he never went to college

He volunteers for charities every now and then

He has a dog and loves her to death, spends almost of time with her.

Only had one girlfriend experience in his late teens but other than that hasn't had sex or any other relationships and is still a virgin. He doesn't do casual or hookups.

He's 28 years old.

Has a great personality and very kind.

Often very self conscious

Has a car but still lives at home. Can't afford to get his own place yet.

So..

Dateable or undateable?

With everything I read on here... I'm actually really surprised at the responses in regards to trust issues. It's as if you bring up the insecurity, they'll turn into a conversation about their entitlements... telling you that they deserve privacy (which people do), and then paint you out to be insecure (which you are), or maybe even controlling when you just want to feel better.

BUT... with infidelity occurring at an over 50% rate in marriage (according to most studies I've read) , I think it's only right to alleviate your partners anxiety when they are having trust issues. It's okay to be insecure once in a while. It's okay to have trust issues once in a while. In monogamy, attraction will happen outside of your partner. Whether it's a coworker, or platonic friend. These things are bound to happen in a long term relationship, so my suggestion is to be with someone who empathizes with you when these problems come up. Someone who actually wants to help you feel better instead of attacking you for it and making you feel lesser for it.

My girlfriend and I have both experienced some trust issues with each other in the beginning considering we've both been cheated on at one point. I opened up all of my social media with her and gave her the pass-code to my phone. Granted, she didn't even look- but I wanted to let her know I had absolutely nothing to hide... and she doesn't have to worry. I genuinely wanted her to feel more relax and less anxious about the idea of committing into a long-term relationship. She wanted the same. We're both in such a better spot today. We worked through it together, and I feel as if most couples should operate in this way.

It's strange to me that the default solution on GAG to this problem is to demonize your partner and suggest to leave them. Anyone else here feel the same?