Search Results: scared to lose him

August 2020, me and my best friend admitted to liking each other. He told me he loves me and wants a relationship with me. I explained that can never happen 1) it’ll ruin our friendship 2) I’m meant to be a lesbian.

We’ve slept together a couple of times since admitting it, I was fighting the feelings but I ended up giving in. We haven’t slept together since November, now I can’t stop thinking about him; It’s constant.

I’ve told him I want him but I’m scared of unintentionally hurting him. What happens if we’re together and a girl comes along and steals my heart? I’ll definitely lose my best friend.
I’ve never cheated before but because I’ve never properly dated a man, I have that worry. I just don’t know what to do.

So many people have said ‘you can do so much better than him’. It’s not about looks and I know and understand him. I like his personality more.

Before someone states: ‘you’re obviously bisexual’. The truth is, I don’t know what I am anymore. I’m leaning towards homoflexible, however I’m just not having a label anymore.

Do me and him chance it and give it a go or do we just stay friends and ignore the feelings?

I have known this guy my whole life. His mum has been friends with my nan since before we were both born so we are family friends. He is 24 and I am 20. We lost contact for a bit over the years but reconnected properly 2 and a half years ago and both told eachother that we had a crush on the other when we were growing up. Since then we have spoken often but never dated. We go through the same cycle of saying we like eachother and want to make it "official" but he always comes up with something afterwards like "i have commitment issues", "I'm not ready for a relationship" or "I don't know how my mum would react". We meet up every few months and usually end up being intimate then he ghosts for weeks or months. We have a good laugh when we are together and it could be amazing if we saw eachother more often. He got out of a very physically abusive relationship with a girl where he had to get a restraining order, so I always use that as the reason he might be scared to commit. I met his mum recently which seemed like a big step cause I didn't see her for the 2 and a half years we were talking and she is the most important person in his life, but I still feel like I am getting mixed signals from him. Don't know whether it is time to move on or whether I might be getting somewhere.

I am here packing the rest of my things at my mom home that I didn't take with me over the years. I am filing application for a new identity as I had to do anyway. I have made some significant changes and this new journey just scares me actually. I have accomplished some goals in life, and lost so many people I didn't think would even leave. I am leaving behind old memories, old ways, and the old life. My family basically disowned me after my change for the better. My dad been walked out my life and his family disowned me as well. My auntie died last week, and I don't even think I am welcomed at her funeral. I changed completely for the better and nobody likes it. I am going to start the process of a name change as I been wanting to do forever.

which name should I choose for my new legal name?