Search Results: abusive men

Quan is 41 years old. He is a single parent and has a 9 year old daughter named Zaya. Zaya has always had food, a roof over her head, and decent medical insurance but when she was 16, he stopped giving it to her, so she had to get a job working at a fast food restaurant. Quan always makes sure Zaya's hair is straight. He told her she's pretty for a dark skinned girl and she'd have a lot of problems dating because of it. When Quan was broke, he was physically abusive and dated dark skinned women, when he became more stable/ rich he started dating white and Latina women. He eventually got his girlfriend pregnant. When the baby was born, he gushed about how beautiful she was and how he's going to protect her from those peverted boys at school. He even joked about how she could be a model one day because she has good hair, unlike Zaya.

He taught Zaya the importance of being strong and not needing anyone but herself to depend on when times get tough.

I would like to share what my boyfriend thinks about the dynamics in finding the right person in a relationship. He claims I'm one of the few loyal, stable, sweet girls. He thinks it's a lot harder for many men to find my types.

When we had this discussion, he points out that it's easier for us to find a good man because we're the one choosing him in the end (we have the last say in whether he becomes our boyfriend or not); the same way a candidate undergoes an interview for a job position and gets chosen after a lengthy process. Basically while he's doing the introduction, selling himself out there, paying for the date, etc all we do is select. If we select a loser, know what he's like and still stay with him instead of firing him just like they do on jobs then we got no one to blame but ourselves.

Guys on the other hand, have to do go through so much just to get the right introduction, have good looks or otherwise he can be confused as a creep, they're still meeting a stranger, have to deal with many rejections, being friendzoned while those very same girls would rather continue being with a cheating or abusive boyfriend (he called them the stupid girls) etc. What do you think? Is there some truth to what he's saying?