Search Results: betrayed by a friend

Back in March last year I started looking up how to cheat on my bf of 3 yrs. & I felt bad that I'd look it up because I did love him to death, but I was going through a very dark time and everything was just confusing.. then in Oct I started sexting the one person he always begged me not to talk to, his brother, because he always tried to steal girls away from him. I did it at first as a joke just to mess around with his bros head, but eventually I came to really like the attention and I wanted to sleep with him. but I never went as far as to see him in person because I couldn't bring myself to meeting him in person or doing that to my bf. time past and he didn't know anything, it only lasted about a week. Then by April I developed a crush on a childhood friend, but that didn't go anywhere and my bf found out and forgave me saying "it's normal to wonder what could of been, what's important is to leave it at that." And by may I had a crush on a coworker and started to really want to cheat on him, I was telling people we weren't together anymore and my bf had no idea, I told friends that I was already cheating on him even though I wasn't yet, and they gave me their support. one day he came home in the middle of the night and found out about the last crush I had and woke me up to confront me, I told him that that was over and I was sorry it even happened but that there was nothing else. then the next day he found out what I told other people. Then after he found out about his bro cause he started looking stuff up and spying on me. and even after it all and that I kicked him out for a month, he still loves me to death and wants 2 forgive me for everything and move on, he doesn't even act mad, says he's just upset and disappointed in me and feels betrayed. And even to this day he found out I had tinder (I only wanted to make new friends) but he said you don't make friends there it to meet guys.
But says if I hangout with a guy or anything, its 100% over

What do i do?

It bothers me a lot that whenever there is a problem in our relationship, my boyfriend starts talking about it with his friends. And no, it is usually not for advice, he just complains. This bothers me for 3 reasons: 1. I never complain about him to my friends like that - whenever I talk to them I make sure that if it is a problem we talk about, they will still look at him fondly afterwards. 2. i'm scared his friends will end up hating me because unless there is a problem he doesn't elaborate much on the good stuff with them (and there is a ton of good stuff!) and he never tells the story from my point of view as well, and 3. he lies to me about it, always tells me he doesn't talk about me, and I feel betrayed. Like my boyfriend, the person I am presumably closest to, stabs me in the back or sth. Am I too bothered by this? Is it or is it not a big deal?