Search Results: forgive me god

so here's the situation, my parents are in the middle of a divorce, the FCS interview is on Tuesday and I am clinically depressed (according to my counselor which my mom signed me up for and I willingly went to).

my dad doesn't want the divorce but my mom filed for one. I think he is depressed. apparently I am his best friend, in fact, his only friend. he talks to me about most of his problems (which includes everything that goes on between them) and I'm basically his own therapist. I've been told by many people that I give really good advice, I am mature for my age and an over-all trustworthy person so I think that's why he talks to me all the time. I don't enjoy it and I know this shouldn't be happening but I don't know how to tell him no without hurting his feelings.

my mom on the other hand is VERY immature. she still is submissive to my grandparents and doesn't know how to forgive anyone for anything, even if they didn't do anything wrong in the first place unless it is her parents, my brother and i, or her sister(she died a few years ago). she also texts more than I do but reprimands me for doing it around her. her idea of "discipline" is talking your ear off about how dishonorable/disrespectful it is to do whatever you did (even though a lot of times its about little things like telling my brother to shut up but it is COMPLETELY fine if he drops the F bomb every now and then around her). she always hands out hollow threats and spoils us to death, thank god I figured out right from wrong. she usually gets mad at me for the wrong reasons like if I didn't want to go to my grandmas when she made dinner for us (its ALWAYS Asian food and it gets old since we go there ALL the time) she would make me feel guilty and say "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" and that its "disrespectful." oh and by the way, my grandma IS the classic dragon lady/ control freak.

i usually try to spend most of my free time at friends houses since its a stupid and childish idea to run away from home so that is the closest thing to it. I physically feel ill around my parents but I can't bring myself to say that to him.

i feel like I'm everyone's happy cheerleader and no one is helping me like I do for everyone around me. whenever I can't take it anymore I keep thinking to myself "only two more years, then I can move out and get away." I feel like I'm completely alone since my best friend died on Christmas Day. he's the one who kept me grounded and sane. he was my shoulder to cry on and the only one who I felt truly cared about me, didn't pretend to care for their own selfish goals and returned the love I've been giving out to people my whole life unrequited.

but back to my question, the interview is on Tuesday and basically they're going to ask who I do/don't want to live with and why. I want to go to live with another guardian like my second cousins (who are married) but my therapist has already said that she can almost guarantee that most likely won't happen. I am so confused and