Search Results: losing feelings

I choose to remain anon, cause I get embarrassed of opening myself up emotionally that comes with judgmental opinions while I’m feeling down or sad.

So to start off, I partake in cannabis for medical reasons. Due to stress, migraines, anxiety, and depression. I know some people have strong opinions against it, cause they saw people using it in a bad way or basically giving off a bad image of it.

But before I tried cannabis, I had lots of antidepressants from Zoloft to cymbalta. These medications made me lose a lot of weight or gain weight. Also having chills at night and constant nausea and sometimes diarrhea. So, I stopped taking them. Since they didn’t feel good inside me. Well, the withdrawals hurt like hell and I was still depressed and stressed. To the point one time I suffered from insomnia that I was losing lots of hair, getting extreme acne, and getting a rash all over my body due to stress.

Till one day, I was introduced to a cannabis brownie. Now, since being my first time. Let me tell you, the brownie was so sweet and good and did not have any cannabis taste at all. I probably consumed more than I should’ve. So, once the hit kicked in... it felt like I got perfect eye vision, my body felt lighter and not heavy from stress, my head pain was gone, and especially my sadness was gone. Like a miracle switch.

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But this past week of the news and lockdown and so many drama going on. That at times it does lead to family drama and arguments, that one can just walk away and heal in their own space. Well, I tried to confide with my mom. That she has her own problems, I have my own problems. Two problems colliding that it lead to argument, overwhelming and sadness.

As much as I want to cry a lot and let the pain out. It’s bottled up inside me with only a little tears coming out. Not enough to feel better and light. That I thought if I should just take an edible so my pain could go away.