Search Results: getting out of the friend zone

Ok ladies and gentleman... especially those of you with some years of experience and relationship experience. No offense to the 18-24 year olds, but they think a bit differently than us 30+

I will quickly give you background on my relationship with this girl. I met her 6 months ago in a professional work environment and gave her my business card to call me. She contacted me 2 weeks later and we met for coffee.. We proceeded to meet several times where I began to feel even more attraction to her and I kept hitting on her. She told me because I was married that she was reluctant to date me. She put me in "The Friend Zone".. We went out a few times and I didn't give up. Long story short, she and I came to a head one day when I was pressuring her to go out with me and she said "Sam, I don't feel an attraction to you that way, and I'm still getting over my ex who I loved a lot and went with for 5 years, I have no room in my heart for you!"

I walked away for 5 days with no contact and then one day, she blew up my cellphone with texts wanting to see me. We began to date and had sex that night.. She seemed to enjoy our time together and as friends we got on great! The sex was amazing, we did some very nasty things that we both enjoyed and first time for both of us! She then began to tell me she just wants to be "Friends with Benefits" as she just doesn't love me the way I seem to be into her!

After about two months of dating, her sister who is a total head case and lives in Salt Lake City with their parents found out about us and told her parents. My girl is 32, and the sister is 35.. has 4 kids and her husband abandoned her.. she seems miserable and continues to go to my girl (her younger sister) for support and friendship... they're on the phone all the time and texting non-stop! The sister told the parents (who are both ministers in a church) about

So it starts off with me and a friend going to our art class on the first day of school. I decided to sit with him and who he was sitting with because I just transferred so I didn't know anyone. Anyways, he sat at a table with all girls and I joined in. There was this really cute girl who was there and me and her started talking a lot. About a week after that she stole my phone and put her number in it without me noticing. After that me and this girl became really good friends and she introduced me to her friends very quickly. About 1000 texts later I ask her who she likes and it turns out to be one of my best friends at the school. She asks who I like so in panic I say someone else. We continue talking about who she likes and I say that he's a douche (because he is but she doesn't know him well enough to figure that out 😭). She gets really mad at me and she doesn't talk to me for a little bit. When we talk again she says she likes two other guys as well. She then talks more about the first guy she likes and not everything seems to add up (to me at least). She invites me to go to the movies with her and her friends so I go and seeing as I was the only guy there I thought she liked me. We continue to talk and I finally tell her I like her. She doesn't really seem interested so I accept it. Then I start flirting with a bunch of other girls and she starts getting very flirty with me. After a bit of her flirting with me I ask her out again but she says no because she likes the other guy. I am very confused if she likes me or has friendzoned me completely or just likes the attention she gets from me. We hug sometimes and she will sometimes get very close to me however she gets uncomfortable if I move too close to her. She calls me cute sometimes but sometimes she calls me ugly. She hasn't said anything to directly signal me that I'm in the friend zone. She shuts anyone down almost instantly of they suggest we would make a cute couple or that we are dating or anything if I'm around. Please help me I am very confused. I am a 13 year old male and she is a 13 year old girl.

When I'm lucky enough to meet a girl I like, I spend time getting to know her before considering asking her out. I now realize that even if I get to know her first, it doesn't improve the outcome. It's probably best to keep that to a minimum and just ask her out. So how long does a guy have before he's in the friend zone? Assuming a girl is interested in him.

Poll and opinions please :)

Somewhat relevant story / example:

My cute, single coworker was all flirty with me one week. Next week she cooled off. Then she went to a sports game one weekend, hooked up with a guy there, and the next week she was telling people she had a boyfriend. Guess she might have been really desperate. I was surprised at first, but then I remembered that a lot of girls are impulsive.

Ladies.. And I'm mostly interseted in the ladies take on this, but I'll also listen to men..

Briefly, I'm 46 and in decent shape, just getting out of a marriage of 18 years and not emotionally tied up with my ex-wife.. I met a girl who was 32 about 5 months ago, and we started out as friends "Friendzone" and after a few failed attempts I finally broke out of the friendzone (after we actually decided not to see each other anymore, she called me a week later and asked me to come get her)..

Anyway, we dated and she told me she was ok with "Friends with benefits" and didn't really want to call us "boyfriend and girlfriend" or in a relationship... After about 2 months of amazing times and sex, I fell for her.. I began to be needy.. I admit it, and she also told me I was being too needy (mainly in that I always wanted sex, and she would sometimes, especially when she was PMS, not want it at all).. moreover, I got a bit jealous of some of her "guy friends" and in a nutshell, made a few mistakes.. we were up and down for a month or so then about two weeks ago, her sister let her parents know about us, and her parents who are both minsters in a church, pressured her to not have sex with me.. so she told me, "I just want to be friends, no sex".. I told her I don't know if I can handle that, but after about 2-3 days I texted her and said, I'd be ok with being friends... my heart tells me otherwise by the way.. I'm not madly in love, but I am a bit infatuated, and part of me feels like this girl is way younger, and very attaractive and I don't feel I'm going to be able to land one like her again so easily.. plus, as a bonus, in bed we were a perfect fit, down to our prevesions!

So my question is this... Shall I remain friends with her? and try to again get out of the friends zone.. and this time be LESS needy.. give her more space, don't get upset if she talks to other guys, etc? Or shall I just tell her "I can't be just friends, call me if you change your mind, otherwise nice knowing you"

Even her sister told me I was being too needy, and a bit of a doormat.. I was always available for her, and broke a lot of the "rules" of being hard to get, mysterious, etc..

What to do?

Ok... This is a lot to read but I'm desperate for advice!! So long story short, me and this girl have know each other since elementary school. We are both now 18. We have always been great friends. But senior year of highscool we started talking more. A lot more. On and off between dating and sill just great friends. She was never titled my "girlfriend" (even though I'd like her to be) I fell for her. I could never really get a vibe for how she felt about me. She'd always tell me, "You're so amazing, sweet, such a good brother to your sisters, bunch of other kind things. I know I'm not friend zoned. That's not the issue haha And she texted me first quite often. Sparked up new conversations which I think is a good sign. Recently she's moved off to college meeting new people and all that fun stuff. She's kept contact with me still by Calling or texting me. And we would meet up once every little while when we could to hang out and see eachother. She lives a little more than an hour away. She'd still ask me to come see her. Go to concerts or fun things. I'd do the same. Things were good. But She started getting a bit flakey. I know she's a genuinely busy girl. I basically put the ball in her court because of my failed attempts to set up a date saying I'm always here if you want to see me. She kept texting me she was sorry with crying emojis haha. I wasn't a jerk about it. Just blunt and not gonna waste my time waiting for her to leave her new life to make time for me... When honestly I think about her all the time... So it's been about two weeks we haven't gone this long without talking in 6 months. Should I just stick it out and wait to see if she's interested and will text me? Or should I just shoot her and text and start things up again? Any advice?