Search Results: how to treat an ex

So my ex dumped me over a month ago for being clingy (double messaging, constantly asking where She is who She is with) and for being an alcoholic. Immedately post breakup, i made mistake of begging and pleading not once, twice, but three times. Each time she got mad at me, told me to have a nice life, and then blocked me. Now im unblocked, and have been hanging out and talking for a week. she's been sleeping over, having sex, going out, etc. She says she loves me, but doesn't wanna be with me. She doesn't wanna be with me, but doesn't wanna lose me. She's afraid we are gonna fight again and the same problems are gonna happen. She treats me like a boyfriend saying she loves me going in dates calling me baby etc, but I'm still blocked on all social media. She says there's nobody else, but "Will tell me if there does become someone else". She doesn't want a relationship right now, but doesn't wanna lose me... forgot to mention I've been 45 days sober from alcohol, and for clingy I try my hardest not to double message her if she doesn't reply. I try not to ask her whereabouts either.

In the last 2 years I’ve been the worst guy ever. I dated 3 women and treated them really badly. They’re still traumatized up to now. The first one was a girl I dated for 4 years. She was super nice to me. But after three years she admitted to cheating on me. So I got revenge cheating. And it became an addiction. She tried as hard as she can to make things work. But I continued cheating. We finally broke up just this September. She still hurting!

The second girl really liked me and wanted something serious. I just played games and strung her along. Messed around behind her back causing her humiliation.

The third woman was still living with her ex husband. She wanted a serious relationship me. She was there for me in my time of distress. Did so much for me. But I didn’t appreciate anything she did. Never took her serious because she wasn’t fully separated from her husband. And just held on to her until I found someone new. Plus I verbally abused her the other day. And permanently left her scard.

Now I’m feeling so guilty and can’t sleep at night. It keeps haunting me what I did. I know I’m gonna eventually get karma for the shit I did. But how do I deal with it now? Would women still date me knowing this about me? I treat my current girlfriend with respect by the way. But she paranoid because I confessed the past to her!

I used to be a shy nerd that got fucked with by women. I was that guy who was too scared to look at another woman while in a relationship. All I did was get cheated on. Then I eventually gave up on females and just used them as sex objects.

Now I’ve come to realize I’m just as bad as females who’ve caused me emotional pain. I can’t live with myself right now. Sometimes I wake up in tears... because the women I really hurt didn’t deserve what I did to them!!!

I've made a completely 180 change. Would u still date me if you knew about all of this first hand?