Search Results: being with someone that you don''t love

I've liked this guy a long time and he's liked me. I may have even fallen in love. We dated too soon in the beginning never had a chance to develop a friendship,. which i learned too late and too slowly that is important to me. I ended up ghosting him bc i didn't understand how i could like him so much but not want to be with him and i had no way of explaining it plus i didn't want to be like someone just talking about feelings. It was not normal to me at that point. id never talked to anyone about how i felt about anything. i thought it was kind of pathetic. i feel bad saying that now, but it was true.

needless to say he was angry and hurt and its been a few years we are just now rebuilding things to where i thin we could be friends... except we are very attracted to each other and i think he's taking my trying to be just friends as not being interested. its easy for him to feel that way bc of the past.

how do i explain i want to be friends first without him thinking im not interested.

things moved too quickly and we really never got to know each other in a real friend way. i dont want to do that again. but im not even positive he wants to try again. im pretty sure but not absolute.

so its not just how do i explain but i have to explain by bringing up us possibly being together at some point after we become friends, not knowing if he is 100% interested in either.

it does not work to just be friendly i have to explain something to him before he gets the wrong idea one extreme or the other. id like help in talking to him about it. not advice on how to not worry about it.

has anyone decided to become friends with someone they already know they are interested in? i know people get involved with friends but im talking about knowing you like someone more than a friend but waiting till the friendship is solitified.. and what problems might arise?

I dated this guy a bit but i was not ready to date anyone. i didn't really know how to let him down bc i did like him and i ended up just being cold. things ended messily.

a few years later after being friendly for a while , and seeing we are still into each other, i decided to say id like to try being together again. but for some reason i kept talking and said bc im in love with him. and it was horrible bc i was like

-To answer your question, I want us to try being together again,, bc im in love wit you. oh no! i didn't mean that never mind. i just want some space.-

and i left.

its not so much i mind him knowing i feel that way. im not sure i do i might but not sure plus i did not mean to say it and i dont like using control in that way. so its bothering me, and I've been avoiding him but i know thats not really fair.,

im just uncomfortable starting things this way IF he's even interested. its hard enough for me to be close to a person and im concerned saying what i did is going to cause me to be even more distant which i already did the first time. i wanted things to be different this time around, but if he's going to be weird i now ill shut down... ironically i wanted to take things slow. still do.

do you think you could date a person you though was in love with you, without getting weird about it?

and can we till take things slow even after i sad what i said?

but i am not at a point where i want to jump into anything. however its kind of getting hard to contain. i dream of him all the time and he's filling a lot of my thoughts. it makes me uncomfortable so i try to detach but that means hen we are hanging out im very aloof and he feels ignored or like i am losing interest in being around him so he starts getting distant too..

I dont mind him knowing how i feel but im concerned hell either assume it means i am looking for things i am not looking for and get worried OR hell be worried bc i am not looking for things he thinks you should be if you are in love.

I was always resultant to love bc i thought it would make me a different person maybe i as but not in a bad w ay i like the experience kind of i just dk what to do with it.

i want to keep getting to know him better without anything intense happening, on the other hand if he turns out to be someone who can't handle love it would be good to know so i can cut my losses.

is there a way to tell him w without having him over react. so we can just calmly figure out what to do.. or is this going to have more to do with his personality than how i say it?

I want s to feel free around each other and free to be together or not. i do not want to start introducing rules and limitations. but i also do not want him to feel i do not care.. so I don't know. can you guys help out?

im not even sure what category to put this in. ugh.

there's a guy i am in love with we have had a bumpy past bc I am not good at recognizing and or accepting my feelings. I had a very solitary childhood and im accustomed to being on my own it feels somewhat wrong to feel close to someone. we dated for a month but never had sex or anything. i was leaving for school so no one had to technically reject anyone, tough he already get rejected because i was cold and distant. emotionally.

anyhow eve become closer and he's been trying to datum but i dint want things to become confine. i want us to feel free to be together or not bc we want to not bc we have a title that says we should do x y z.

i ave realized im in love with him and its become important to me to experience it. i kind f want to start my life over and be a person who can experience love and not just feel it but maybe give it. one day.

anyhow i still dont want anything official as i said i want us to feel free not confined. but i dont know if hell understand.

i dont know if hell be bothered by my being in love bc hell think im expecting things, or if hell be bothered bc im not expecting things..

Would you continue spending time and seeing how things develop without trying to enforce anything?

would you want distance bc you dont want anyone being in love with you?