Search Results: boring boyfriend

background: my boyfriend is a really gr8 boyfriend, he does things 90% of other boyfriends won't do (trust me). he has a good temper, is nice even though im a brat and throw mean words at him sometimes (but i apologized and told him i will try to change) etc.
but he cheated on me. emotionally (no physical contact). what he did was, he has got female friends online and he got too close to them. he called them for hours and hours and hid it from me. he did it twice.
but when i think about it, can i really fully blame him? when we dont meet up, he's in his room alone the whole day. his family doesn't talk to one another and he settles all his meals alone. sometimes im busy and i can't text him the whole day. even if i can, its boring to text the whole day right? while those girls can call him. (i usually can't call bc strict parents). so when there are friends who want to talk to him, obviously he will get really happy and carried away because he has no company. he's just this innocent 17 year old boy that craves company like everyone else so when someone is interested to talk to him, its normal for him to be happy and interested in talking to them right? so are his actions justifiable or is it totally his fault?

i might seem like a pessimistic, but i feel that we do live to die - for me at least.

I've always felt that life was studying hard, getting into a university, working, earning enough money to live well, and then dying. There's no joy for me at all. I have hobbies, like watching dramas and playing games. But it's the same routine and just boring. Maybe somedays something cool and fascinating happens, but that's all.

When my boyfriend entered my life, that was the only time when i felt that life was worth looking forward to. Looking forward to spending everyday with him, exploring new things, doing new things together. But now he's gone, im having that concept where we live to die again, and life seems so meaningless to me. Explore the world by myself? I'm not up to that.

This daunting thought makes me want to kill myself sometimes, since there's no meaning to this anyways. Thoughts, people?