Boyfriend won't let me break up with him or move out?

[Anonymous]

I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 23. 6 years later, I am 23 and he's 29.. after the first year my family and I moved out of the state we lived in and I wanted to leave my boyfriend behind but he ended up moving in with us a couple months after we did. Ever since the move, he has constantly played video games and drinks almost a whole 12 pack of beer a day... Our relationship really isn't all that great. It consists of me asking him to do stuff with me or me and my family and he always says no and keeps playing video games. I come home from work and relax around the house and watch TV and he sits 5 feet away playing video games and drinking and barely even speaks to me. last year I had, had enough of the boring and unsatisfing life we lead and started talking to someone online, he found out and moved out of the house I live in with my parents (for now). He stalked the guy I was talking to and completely ruined everything. He was drinking a lot more than before after we had broken up and would call me for rides home from friends, I felt bad for him because technically he moved to this new state for me. But one night I picked him up and brought him to his apartment, he was acting all suicidal so I was trying to be nice. He called and texted me none stop ever since he moved out and I even blocked his number but the blocking app I use, I still received everything. He told me he would help me with a legal problem I am still currently dealing with and said if I let him move back in, he would help. Well he moved back in and hasn't helped me at all. He went right back to doing the same old shit and I'm still so sick of it. He basically won't let me break up with him and even if I try, he would still have to move out again which he probably wouldn't do. I really don't want it to be a big legal mess. Can anyone give me any advice about this on what I can do? I haven't been happy for a long time and I want to be with someone who isn't anything like

[varol]

ok certainly there are other details that are not mentioned here, but i will talk from what you said.
ok dear
first of, after 6 years, you just wanted to let him behind? just like that? well i hope it is not just like that. if you could easily let go off someone, that other person doesn't have to do the same. he couldn't. he left whatever he had and came with you and according to what you said, he only started doing those things after moving out, right? why don't you talk to him instead of giving him instructions? may be he has some kind of deep problem; yeah people can get childish sometimes. he wants you, ok? and appreciate this. i am not saying that you have to accept what he is doing i am just saying try to kniw what's in his head. if you dont want to help him as boyfriend, do it for a human. no judging and it's your life and you dont have to be in someone's debt, just help and care are better than leave.

[SteppingOnRoses]

to go to the point of stalking someone... it doesn't show much for his character.

But she should have broken up with him before talking online with someone.

I think that she just delayed it cause she knew itd be hard to break things off.

[SteppingOnRoses]

also it is weird that he'd just up and go with her family to a new state. does he not have family at home? does he have money problems? all sounds so weird... from the get go.

[varol]

well certainly there are other sides and that's why i said i would reply from what i read.
you are right that he is freaking. it's just he might be hopeless for her. he is trying anything. may be if she could talk with him like for real not instructions. it's 7 years.

[SteppingOnRoses]

still i dont think it is a good behavioural pattern to have. shows a lack of maturity and can cause issues in the future...

[varol]

yup there is lack of maturity, but she mentioned suicidal stuff. he might be depressing over something. not good for him nor her. talking it out is good. i once had something very much less than that but similar. all what i needed was a small talk. i am nit defending him but as you said, that path might not be good for her either.

[SteppingOnRoses]

i may be wrong. but i think he has had a free ride for a long time with little effort...

and now he is just using manipulative tactics to keep up the easy life.

he's basically a free loader...

[varol]

well i might be wrong as well :) i can't see everything from the question.

[ananias_05]

You have to kick him out. If he pulls that suicide b. s. again tell him "I don't want you to commit suicide but I also won't be manipulated, cause that isn't love". Worst case scenario you will have to get the cops involved.

[silverblood]

look up the laws in your state, they are more helpful in understanding the best way to kick him out. don't block his number change yours. its not right to string him along and for him to creep you.
if he wants to go home help him by buying a ticket or something, but get him out of your life.
like someone said he maybe dealing with a lot, and that maybe true. if you want to see if things could work out, talk with him about counseling or something and see if he will get help. if he doesn't want to help himself, or work on your relationship, walk away.
six years is a long time, and he moved for you, but at the end of the day your not his mother, nor his family. you've lost interest in him as you are looking elsewhere, and if you are ready to cut ties and move on, then go for it.

[Anonymous]

Why can't he just move Out? What do your parents say about it? It's their house, have them help you kick him out. And don't help him anymore. Block his number on your phone, if that doesn't work call your phone provider and see if you can stop receiving calls from that number as it is harassing you. If he is still harassing you, get an order of protection. I mean there should absolutely be no excuse why he couldn't move out and be out of your life.

[Ropemarks]

Not only is he wasting his time, he's wasting your time and all the time that someone else could be spending with you.

I take it he's not paying rent or anything of the sort so it's not like he has any legal right to be there. Either move out or change the locks; first one might be a better option though.

[SteppingOnRoses]

Have your parents throw him out.

Then, file a restraining order, like others said.

Block everything on your phone, social media... change numbers even, if it will help.

He is a manipulative ass... I believe he has been trying to have a free ride from the start.

[Lyndsielee666]

He can't make you do anything. If you have to have your parents evict him then do it and then change your number. Saying he's going to kill himself is a form of manipulation and that's pathetic. Move on girl, you're not his mom.

[Queenbee22284]

Sounds like ur stuck in same toxic relationship like I am. My house, my everything and all my boyfriend wants to do is bitch, have sex, smoke dope and it makes me sick the thought of him. I've tried everything and I'm forced to file a legal eviction with the county I live in. It's gonna be messy... but I'm too point of being miserable that if he wants messy so be it.

[ImTinkerbell]

Wait til he leaves, change the locks and leave all his stuff outside.
Or have the cops be there while he packs his stuff and leaves.
He's using that has a manipulative tactic

[Kaylyne]

Just get your parents to kick his sorry fucking ass out the door and then get a restraining order put on him.

[reptocarl]

If you want him out bad enough you'll find a way. But I don't think you do

[girlinthisworld]

You don't exactly need him to agree that you can break up with him. Just do it and be done with him. Stop pitying him.

[Reddwolf]

Yes dear tell him to get the hell out and get a restraining order against him

[joshf1994]

hey only thing i can say is wait till his not home and change the locks

[nealatmasfu]

do this!

[ceruleantiger]

just pack and leave, if he won't let you slip out one day call the cops and have the cops help you move out

[Karl99]

Kick his ass out of the door. Or make your strongest friend do it.

[Chantel77]

What do you mean let, just do it without announcement

[natsu008]

Tell him you are done with him, and want to break up?

[Anonymous]

i mean its not like you need permission.

[cutemz]

Move out

[nealatmasfu]

do this !